Thinking in vain...

This was the first very quick attempt at capturing Starbucks' new "porch" advertising. I need to get a camera phone - or borrow an iPhone. I suspect it's easier to be stealth about these sorts of things if you can pretend you're doing something else and NOT pulling out an actual camera.

Bear with me. I tried to get all fancy this morning and messed everything up.

Update: Is the orange to light? Too yellow? Hmm.....

Update: Green too ugly? Why is that damn white bar still at the top?

CIA and Vatican edit Wikipedia entries

Someone using a US Senate computer altered a profile of veteran White House reporter Helen Thomas to complain she "interrupts" and is annoying.

Via The Sydney Morning Herald

Starving Snakes Eat Their Hearts Out

Aug. 20, 2007 — Certain snakes can survive without food for two years at a time, but not without paying a physical price, according to a new study that found some snake species will actually digest their own hearts and grow bigger heads to broaden prey options during periods of famine.

The study, which will be published in next month's issue of Zoology, is the first ever to examine starvation physiology in snakes.

Author Marshall McCue, a researcher in the Department of Biological Sciences at the University of Arkansas, thinks intense snake hunger may even explain some of the more outrageous snake stories from recent years.

"Severe hunger might make snakes take greater risks than otherwise," said McCue, who then mentioned "last year's photos of the Everglades python eating the alligator and then lethally 'popping' open, or stories of escaped pet snakes eating unusual objects, like unused light bulbs."

For his study, McCue put 20 ball pythons, 22 ratsnakes and 20 western diamondback rattlesnakes through 168 days of starvation. Weight and other measurements were taken at regular intervals. After the 168 days, McCue chemically euthanized each snake and pureed it in a blender in order to better conduct chemical analysis.

At the 168th day, the snakes lost 9.3 to 24.4 percent of their initial body mass. They also reduced their energy expenditures by an average of 80 percent over the test period. McCue told Discovery News that the snakes usually were sedentary, wrapped up in provided "hide boxes," and only explored their environments when they thought a potential food source was around.

Measurements revealed the snakes actually grew longer during the fast. Growth especially was noticed in the head.

"Larger head bones mean that they can choose from a wider range of potential prey items," he said, noting that snakes cannot chew and therefore must be able to swallow whole animals.

The chemical analysis determined the snakes break down saturated fatty acids into polyunsaturated fats by "picking off bits of hydrogen for energy."

Intestinal fat, which he likened to "belly fat" in humans, as well as fatty liver tissues were among the first to be targeted. As a byproduct, water formed in the snakes' bodies, causing them to "bloat" by around 7 percent.

Then the snakes would digest their own heart muscle.

The heart breakdown initially surprised McCue, but he said it is reasonable given that "the lower energy expenditure allows lower circulatory demands, and therefore permits the heart organ to shrink."

Immediately following a nutritious meal, the snake hearts can quickly rebuild themselves.

Aaron Rundus, a University of Nebraska researcher who has also studied snakes, said he was surprised to learn snakes can survive without eating for up to two years, but, "I completely believe it, and the physiological mechanisms make sense given how successful these reptiles are at surviving under the worst of conditions."

Rundus explained to Discovery News that snakes are "ambush hunters," as opposed to "strategists," so they must wait for incredibly long periods before an unsuspecting victim may cross their paths.

McCue hopes future studies on snake starvation will lead to treatments that can increase food deprivation tolerance in other animals, including humans.

Via discovery.com

Aw, that's just not nice at all. I heart that gecko.

Via the caveman's crib (the after-party).

I thought I bought those little mini-bags of popcorn and didn't realize until after I popped it and started eating it that I bought the regular size.

And yes, you all needed to know that.

I went the back way to the airport yesterday (my sister was returning her rental car and I was helping in this transition) on our way I saw a VERY large yellow sign (picture soon, hopefully) with "Save Countryside" and a blogspot address under it.

I'm still over there trying to figure out their purpose and what's been going on - but I thought the sign was a great idea.

Oh, news on that protester. Seems her signs are now advocating for a hernia specialist. As suggested before, a blog is a good thing for her too. She could just hold up signs with the address.

Got this through the mail, let's just say "cool" wasn't the first thing I thought of when I saw the exclamation point.

But I'm intrigued now, so I may go.

Today is the intern's last day.

The GE guys had actually bought caution tape to use in some sort of prank on him. They wouldn't tell me what they were going to do.

Once I got the card, I told them they couldn't touch him and they told me I was too nice.

Oh, and he's now a fan of the pen tool.

It's probably not a good idea to ask me to spot you while you try to bench press 215lbs.

No worries, I didn't kill him, but my arms hurt.

While watching LA Ink last night I thought I saw a commercial for the new caveman series... or so I thought, the commercial was like a bad high school home movie of drunk cavemen at a party pointing you to cavemanscrib.com.

All I can say is I hate that effect where you grab the corner of a page and they want you to pretend like you're reading a magazine. Stop it... even if you know how it works it doesn't.

I'd never seen this commercial before, but it appears the sites been around a long time. Which makes me wonder why the hell I saw it.

Jetpacks sent me a GREAT 1970's PSA for escalator safety... You must respect the escalator!

Medeco Readies Assembly-Line Fix for DefCon Lock Hack...

Damn. I worked at Medeco for about 9 - 10 months helping convert their product catalog to digital files while I was in college. I remember thinking it was so cool when I was watching Law & Order once and they mentioned Medeco locks and how they were pick-proof.

Hope they fix this...

Tried a new sushi restaurant, aptly named Wasabi. This is where my friend, Richard, described wasabi as... a nose orgasm.

That is where I almost choked on the sip of water I had just taken.

Apparently Kevin Smith movies are not as big in Japan as maybe they should be.

This could lead to trouble... ;)

"Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator."

Can't fear the escalator if you make it look like a toy. Although, it is kinda pretty.

Via AdPulp, via flickr member aapglobal

I have never read a Harry Potter book - but I have seen the movies and I enjoy them.

I don't know if this is new or just new to me, but I loved it. I haven't had the time to watch all of them, but I'll get around to it.

p.s. It's about 8 minutes long...

To the person who was looking for the "giraffe headed-pig photo:"

If you ever find it, I hope you come back and post a link because I'm intrigued... and I couldn't find it either.

So I had to photoshop a scoreboard this morning. One of our clients wanted to put an ad in the local high school's sports program because they just finished building the new stadium.

And no lie, I just had an argument about what the scoreboard said. I showed it to our freelancer and she didn't think that having it say that the home team was on the 3rd down with 10 yards to go in the 4th quarter was a good idea because it shows that they didn't get very far. And I actually let myself be sucked into an argument about a hypothetical game. By the way, the home team is winning by two touchdowns, so I think they'll win the game no matter what.

I think I need to take a 15 minute break.

I can't help it - it's ridiculous and he has a British accent.

Saw the new AT&T commercial for their new broadband card. There's a British guy in a hole and in the middle of a lake demonstrating how you can now get internet anywhere. I laughed so hard.

I need to figure out a way to record these commercials because it's not on YouTube yet as far as I can tell.

I suppose I'm not the targeted demographic which seems to be young males, maybe that's why it freaks me out.





More here as they have a youtube account specifically for the campaign.

One of my favorite bands just "fired" their drummer.

This is an odd development. Although, their announcement to their fans was very nicely written... even if the PR people did tend toward the melodramatic. Era? Spiritual member? The cause? Really?

See what y'all think.

It is with a sad and heavy heart that we are announcing the band's extremely difficult decision to part ways with our longtime percussionist, and founding member of Carbon Leaf, Scott Milstead.

It has been a long, rewarding road full of memorable shows and great times making music together, but the time has come for some changes that we're confident will lead to greater happiness and fulfillment for all 5 of us going forward.

Scott is our brother and we love him dearly. He is forever a spiritual member of Carbon Leaf who has devoted his life and passion for music to the cause, and we are thankful for an unforgettable era.

We know this is a shock to the people that make Carbon Leaf possible - the fans - and we ask for your continued support and enthusiasm for the band as we look forward to envisioning Carbon Leaf for the road ahead.

A Jesus stain... I think it was a slow news day yesterday.

Watch video (Link launches Windows Media Player)

Read transcript

Heard about this on a local morning show - best part was that the parents have used the stain to help discipline their children.

Why can't I ever find stuff like this??

With all the crap they feed chickens now - wait, you know, forget that. Knowing my luck I'd open the egg and find a two-headed chicken.

Great, now I've grossed myself out...

Egg within egg a freak of nature

(click for bigness)

New claims that Leonardo da Vinci's The Last Supper contains a hidden image of a woman holding a child are provoking a storm of interest on the internet.

The figure allegedly appears when the 15th Century mural painting is superimposed with its mirror image, and both are made partially transparent.

(The title was sarcasm - my sister has her art history degree)

From the Telegraph UK, via Coast to Coast AM

Cingular/At&T has a new version of the "Battle" commercial.

At first I didn't like it - but then I saw it again last night and I've changed my mind... it's as awesome as the first.

If I find it I'll post it.

I also can't find the new back-to-school Best Buy commercials which I want to share because they are great. As you can tell, I watch a lot of TV and unfortunately YouTube is not cooperating with me to bring you all the commercials I get to see.

You know what's nice?

Putting the lid securely back on the tower of CDs so that when I pick it up to put it back where it's supposed to be I don't drop it and have to spend 5 minutes picking them up and making sure they're all right.

previously in pet peeves.

Experts of the hollow Earth theory are certain that the planet has several magnetic fields. They also say that aurora polaris is gas that oozes out through the thin earth crust on the poles of the planet. What is more, followers of the idea emphasize that compasses get absolutely mad when approaching the poles. Many researchers also add that warm winds often blow from the north which proves that large hollows may exist there.

How on earth [ha!] can a serious article about the hollow Earth theory NOT mention the Hollow Earth expedition and/or Admiral Byrd. Maybe they had a word limit.

Hey, it's Friday...

Via Copyranter

Is Japanese-style cuteness and a joke supposed to make me feel better about not being able to continue my searches??????


Ugh.

Comforting... and strangely creepy...

"Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours."

From MSNBC







previously in cats: winged cats and cat's who ride the bus

No, it's not a panda. But see if you don't laugh watching this thing...



Via False Advertising

We have a month to build a website with a content management system. My programmer looked at me like I was crazy. Which she should have.

***

I think these kinds of launches always happen at inconvenient times. My aunt was doing fantastically 2 days ago. The kidney was awake and working phenomenally. Now, she's having psychotic episodes because of the extreme amount of steroids she had to have. My mother is driving to Richmond this morning and the rest of us are trying to get up there by the end of the week.

***

I'm glad the intern isn't here this week.

For those that are interested, the opening went well. It was a lot bigger than I expected - but that was cool.

I didn't win anything - BUT it's okay. :) It was just that one woman's opinion and someone else could've loved my photograph. So there.

I did get to talk to my boss's sister, who happens to be an artist around here. She works only on commission now, if that tells you anything. She said she liked my photograph and that I should keep it up. She apparently worked as a graphic designer for about 10 years and then started entering local juried and open call shows and the rest, as they say, is history.

So that was some nice encouragement.

Also the potato cakes were delicious... even if I did think they were crab cakes. O_o

There is good news. Good news which I am going to share:


MY AUNT IS GETTING A TRANSPLANT TODAY!!!!!


My mother got a call from my uncle that my aunt (who has kidney failure and is on hemo dialysis 3 times a week) got a phone call today from their doctor and there is a young, perfect-match kidney for her. She's in the hospital now and she'll probably go into surgery around 1 or 2 in the morning, then she'll be in intensive care for 4 days and then um... something else but I forgot what my mother called it.

I mainly watched it because I was curious and I'd accidentally caught a special on the making of the show last weekend.

As far as accuracy - the special said they paid extra attention to things like the towel bars and the kid's toys in a later episode (Etch-a-Sketches didn't come out till the summer of 1960 - so the little boy had to settle for a slinky for Christmas '59). Although, I'm sure we've all read on AdScam how everything else wasn't really accurate.

Maybe I'm sappy, but the only person I really liked as a human being was Draper's wife because I felt sorry for her. Who knows, that may change if she talks more...

Anyways - dumbest thing in my book? After the meeting where Draper figures out the younger guy (Campbell?) retrieved the research report on smoking and he's confronting him in the office about stealing it and he says something like, "it's not like we have machines that copy documents exactly." WTF? I get it, you don't have copy machines - although I did think you had secretaries. I'm sure there was a better way to imply that than coming up with such a dumb line.

Well, that and the whole electric typewriter scene. I have a hard time believing women were that dumb. Didn't she just come from one of the better secretary schools? Didn't they have electric typewriters? I haven't used a typewriter in years (electric or not) but those two things didn't seem all that different.

Extending their hype of the new Simpson's movie - they decided to mimic the Cerne Abbas Giant...

Wish for rain to wash away Homer

Intern: "I don't like the pen tool."

Me: "Too bad."


I wanted to say "tough shit," but he'd only been here 2 days. This kid is more of a burden on me because I have to figure out stuff for him to do so that he can learn programs he doesn't have a clue about.

I may take my friends up on the idea to send him out for a non-existent size/type of paper clip.

I have been informed that limes aren't really green - that they are painted. I'm not having luck with Google confirming this bit of trivia.

Anybody know?

Oh, but I did find out that in the late 19th century some industrious lime farmers set out to ruin the lemons reputation - apparently it worked. See here.

Guess what I just got?

I got a: "Great job in the meeting this morning. I mean it - I'm going to start bringing you to all the meetings so I can just sit back and let you run them."

Yeah, I'm good. I created an ass-load of work for myself... but I'm awesome.

How cute is this?!

Will You Love Me Fur Ever?

Via ReadySteadyGo.

Update: My friends are insisting this is fake.

I don't know if this is new or new to me, but I think this is awesome.

So last week, July 4th to be exact, we went to the Fair. It is apparently the largest free gate fair in Virginia.

We meant mainly to walk around because I don't like dying or getting near Carnies (no offense to Carnies, but you scare me). We saw the "World's Largest Horse," he was a Belgian and was 19 1/2 hands, about 6'6" tall... he was big but certainly not the world's largest I suspect.

We also paid a dollar to see the "World's Smallest Horse." He was just like the miniature horse in the petting zoo which we could see for free. When I showed my Mom the picture (which I wasn't supposed to take apparently) she told me that she'd seen miniature horses much smaller than that.

Anyways, after the "World's Largest Horse" we went passed the Fried Oreo vendor. Me, I've never heard of them. However, the girl we were with will get them when she's at "the shore." For those from the South like me - the shore is the general beach area... the sand is the beach, there's a difference. We decided to come back and try some and continued our loop around.

Many rednecks and would-be punks later we passed The Zipper. This was the ride we used to all come for when I was in middle school because, well, it was the most intriguing ride at the Fair. This ride is long with tiny rocking carts lining it (picture below). As the main part of the ride rotates the cars it also spins itself in a circle... thus making the carts spin violently while you're being spun backwards... if that makes sense. One not-so-fun time my sister got stuck mid-air because someone had thrown-up and they had to get him off. The ride was also a wonderful introduction to whiplash.

15 - 20 years later - it's the same machine. No thank you. Besides my dislike for whiplash, that thing can't be safe and I don't want a 12-year-old puking on me.

Next... pig racing. That's right, racing pigs. They've been there every single year the Fair has but this was the first year that I happened to pass by as they were racing. And I have video!



Winner got an Oreo.

So on that note - on to the Fried Oreos! Much intrigued by them we went back and we tried them. Normally I don't like Oreos at all... but these things were incredibly good... I actually felt guilty for liking them so much. I don't know if I could've eaten more than two but I decided not to try - I'm sure my arteries thanked me. ;)

After the Oreos was the petting zoo - the highlight was the baby giraffe as my sister LOVES giraffes and got to feed it. We meant to go back so she could feed it again, but never managed to.

So, slideshow:

This would be the very first product of this year's garden. The zucchini plants are doing much better this year. That's the first (taken and picked July 3) there have been 2 more since then and there are two which are almost ready to be picked. The peppers are doing much better this year and but the tomatoes are slow...

Not much to say about the Horse Show. It was a horse show. Lots of prancing and all that fun stuff.

However there was the Stadium Nazi as we walked in. She was serious about her job. She checked our tickets every time we came back in and watched so that we sat in the right seat. We finally started going to the entrance directly to our right where no one cared.

The Grand Prix was exciting which is what we come for really. My older sister used to jump and we used to live on a horse farm so we take my mother every year. Every year I ask the same questions as I was four when we moved and I remember nothing from year to year.

I won't bore you, but only 5 runs had 0 faults... and they had a jump off even though they really didn't need to. But jump offs make the evening much more exciting.

I did learn one new thing, and excuse me if I use any "wrong" terminology. Since our Grand Prix takes place inside, the course ends up being very much like European courses. American courses are usually quite spacious with lots of room for the horse and rider to make the turns and the jumps. European courses are completely different - they are smaller with sharp turns and close jumps. So it was the announcer's opinion that if every course was like ours, Americans would be more prepared for world championships.

So the guy to watch was an Argentinian named Palo Muente riding a horse named As Di Villagana. And he really was quite awesome - his horse sailed over the jumps and he smoked everyone elses time in the first round. In the jump off he went first, got 47.626 seconds in a 59 second course with no faults. Needless to say everyone tried to stay in line with his time - but with 4 - 8 faults each an higher times, they couldn't compete.

Jump off video below.

Sorry, I thought that headline was corny... but then I got the song in my head and decided if I had to suffer... I'd share.

Earth is smaller than previously thought...

I don't mind having meetings about this program. I don't even mind them being after 5 when I desperately want to go home.

But what does get a little tiresome is the fact that the meetings go on for 45+ minutes. Not because there's that much info to deal with, in fact we go over the same ideas and information each time. No, it's the fact that EVERYONE involved (except for me) went to this high school and wants to reminisce.

Which is fine for the most part - they're funny stories... but after the third time of hearing them and after we've been in the meeting for 45+ minutes and I want to go home, it gets old.

I can't wait until this is over. The intern comes tomorrow and I'm going to have to figure out stuff for him to do. My boss suggested I teach him how to scan. What? We have one scanner (mine) and it's sitting right beside me. If he's scanning I can't work. And I'm not moving my scanner downstairs, it's mine and I'll be difficult about it if I want to.

Odd dream last night. Remember most of it, but the oddest part was the four-headed pig thing.

I was actually in my childhood home and I heard something at the back/side door. The side door of this house opened up to several small steps and covered-walkway that adjoined the garage to the house. There on the steps was this four-headed pig thing, 2 conjoined heads at the front and 2 at the back. For some reason I thought it was cute and I wanted to keep it. That's when I called my mother and my sister outside to look at it. And miraculously, like in dreams, it was suddenly no longer a four-headed pig thing, but a very cute, small, round, hairless pig-like thing. I say pig-like because it didn't really have a pig nose. Anyways, this "animal" must have been somewhat human (?!) as it started crying when my mother said we couldn't keep it. But she then changed her mind, because it was very sad to watch it cry. It was happy again when we agreed to let it stay.

That was it, then I jettisoned off into another weird place.

How did these guys NOT make it? Maybe there's a new consensus that aliens did in fact help and that they should then not be considered in other man-made endeavors... kidding.

I mean how do you compete with measurements like this one?

The Great Pyramid is the most accurately aligned structure in existence and faces true north with only 3/60th of a degree of error. The position of the North Pole moves over time and the pyramid was probably exactly aligned at one time.

That's what you get when you let masses vote. :p

Anyways, here's the "new" list.

• The Great Wall of China

• Petra in Jordan

• Brazil's statue of Christ the Redeemer

• Peru's Machu Picchu

• Mexico's Chichen Itza pyramid

• The Colosseum in Rome

• India's Taj Mahal

I agree with some of them, but Christ the Redeemer over the pyramids? Really?

List via CNN

Update:

UNESCO's statement:

Acknowledging the sentimental or emblematic value of sites and inscribing them on a new list is not enough. Scientific criteria must be defined, the quality of candidates evaluated, and legislative and management frameworks set up... The list of the “7 New Wonders of the World” will be the result of a private undertaking, reflecting only the opinions of those with access to the internet and not the entire world.

See UNESCO's full statement here

I don't know where the video is from. A friend sent it to me and he didn't know where his friend got it.

Since my introduction last week to deep fried Oreos I was told that the creme filling was actually sweetened lard - which of course made me feel so much better for enjoying them as much as I did [/sarcasm].

While I was googling to find if this was true (it's not and now Oreos are kosher) I found out that you can make rocket fuel from the creme inside oreos.

Your boss just might almost destroy her computer.

And this is what I spent a good chunk of time fixing yesterday.

It seems last Thursday, she got a hitch in her giddy-up and wanted to rename her home folder on her laptop and this screwed up all her preferences. Not a big deal, right? Wrong because she didn't realize what she'd done so she thought her hard drive was crashing.

Now, our backup/resource IT guy was on vacation, I'm on vacation and she goes into my office and uses my computer to email him. That's all well and good but since she wanted my help as well, it was a bad idea because if she opens my email at work it will download all my emails and I can't check them from home... and she didn't call me (which I was very happy about). So I'm in blissful ignorance of all this until I come in on Monday.

Somewhere in this she finds an old version of Norton (it's why all our software was on my desk when I came back Monday morning) and loads that. Well, not only is Norton bad in general it hates Panther and Tiger so it screws up her machine more. This is when she starts getting error messages about system files. So what does she do? She finds them and deletes them.

So when she comes in Monday morning and starts up her computer, it can't find her hard drive. But she calls me asking for the keyboard shortcut to reconfigure her desktop. My boss isn't big on giving the exact error message, so after some pulling I get that her screen is gray with a message telling her to restart AND text telling her that the hard drive can't be found.

So I reinstalled Panther, her Adobe programs, and fought with Quark for a good hour or more but by then she wants her computer back... even though there's an error message when we restart and Safari won't work (which is of course my fault). Then it is requested that I come to her home and format the external hard drive I'd gotten for her about 2 months ago and backup her hard drive because she was getting error messages.

She was getting error messages because she was trying to reformat the wrong thing.

Anyways, her computer is fine now and all her files are backed up. I tried to hint very nicely that her hard drive had always been (relatively) fine, meaning it hadn't crashed that first time, and that she was the one who'd messed it up.

******

I have tons of random photographs from my little mini vacation. We went to the annual horse show, went to the regional fair (oh god), and went to a wine tasting festival for my birthday. But I'm at work and the photos are at home, so I'll either have to bring them to work or actually sit down and go through them at home. ;)

At least not here. The lyrics don't even rhyme. And they play this ALL the time...

WARNING: This could seriously get stuck in your head.

There's nothing like coming back after a week off and coming into your nice clean office and realizing that it's not nice and clean because everyone has been in there looking for things. Things they can't put back where they got them and instead are thrown all over my desk and every other flat surface.

And what, I'm the only one who can wash a dish?

Anyways, more later. :D

p.s. I think the squirrels are back... I hear them scurrying above me - nevermind it's a dog.

That's right, I've got a week off. And I'm extremely happy about it. And I'm very sunburned.

Due to missing The Joe's fireworks extravaganza due to unforseen happenings I have been demoted to the friend level of Aquaman.

In light of your digressions, I have no choice but to dub you with the title of Aquaman…


That’s right… you’re even lower on the popular poll than Robin.

Hell, the blue monkey scored higher.

I trust you will do what’s right to remedy this.

You were meant for better than talking to fish in orange and green tights.

So it seems we are designing a high school sports program insert for my boss's brother (see: a boss's pet project) as the school's brand new stadium will be named after his favorite coach.

So last Wednesday we (my boss and I) had to meet with the printer to see exactly how long we got, what kind of files they needed, etc. So we get there and they know about as much as we do about the actual program. So we're trying to ask about paper and what size and the girl who is in charge of the graphics department keeps saying she doesn't know where her boss gets the paper, but she thinks most anything will fit through her printer.

Since we have to go to her office to get a CD of logos we just ask to see the printer.

So we walk to the graphics department which is in a separate building. You walk through a door into a little room where a desk is crammed in at your left with an old iMac on it. To the right is a hallway and in front of you is another tiny room.

The hallway to the left leads you to the production area and the printer. So since they kept saying printer, my boss thinks they have an offset press, I had my suspicions to the contrary and they were confirmed when she pointed out a laser printer to us. This was her printer and the one we have at the office is better.

The second tiny room (the one to the front of us when we walked in) is crowded with 3 small dilapidated desks. Their desktops were crowded with not only a tiny monitor and a scanner but since the room was so small their G4s were on top of their desks too. Now add the keyboard and these people had absolutely no room to move.

This was where the high school sports programs get "designed." Then they are run off on 11x17 sheets of paper, folded and stapled together.

Now on top of that the poor girl in charge was just sort of winging it. I asked her if we could bleed colors on just the insert since there would only be 150. She said yes we could get about a 1/4" from the edge of the paper.

So we got the files we needed and left. I mainly felt sorry for the girl in charge. No doubt they were hired without any experience and sat in front of the computer and told to learn it.

When we got in the car my boss looked at me and started going on and on about how that must be what design hell looks like. This is when I felt obligated to do the whole, "yes, I'm so lucky, I love my job" speech.

So there, was it as interesting as I made it sound? I should've written more last week when I hadn't been trying to not think about anything work-related.

So when I get back, my time will be spent laying out an 8-page insert all about a football coach. I'm going to try to pawn it off on the intern. After I teach him how to use the programs.

What's the most pressing piece of business this morning on the last day before I take vacation?

Finding the remote to the TV so that my boss can watch Wimbledon.

There was a dead snake in the road. I work in a little historic district house right outside of downtown... in my head there should not be snakes, nor dead snakes in the road.

That is for the country. I don't work in the country.

I'm sure I looked like an idiot walking the block from my car to the office. I was looking for snakes.

Let me explain my irrational fear of snakes. When I was four we lived on a horse farm, my father found a 6.5 ft black snake while I was with him. We lived in Maryland for a while when I was 6-ish, in the country, and the woods surrounding the house were full of snakes. When I was 8, I was walking with my sister around a garden filled with Cypress Trees and a black snake came within a foot of falling on me.

So yeah, I keep looking under my desk. Don't laugh at me.

It is too early. But me and the boss are on vacation next week and we're trying to cram everything into this week and get it all done.

More on my trip to design hell which I went on yesterday when I get the chance. I know, you can't wait.

And I mean really hard. I have to write a 30-second description of my photograph (why I photographed it, what it looks like) for the visually-impaired.

I really am having a great deal of trouble trying to describe what it looks like (the why is easy).

p.s. Info for the Opening Reception on my MySpace page.

So I was watching Ghostbusters II on Comedy Central on Saturday afternoon (I didn't want to work, OK?).
Now, I'm not offended or surprised to see the new Trojan spots on this channel - what did intrigue me was the commercial right after it - or the very next commercial break, I can't remember now. Either way.

You know what the commercial was for? Kool-Aid. You know like the Kool-Aid commercials you'd (I'd) see while watching cartoons when I was little.

Well, it was the comedy channel, mabye they were trying to be funny....

I know, it's hard to imagine me shy. Right, anyways, stop laughing (I am really painfully shy). It was all we could do to get this kid to answer our questions. His dad was a friend of the boss so he actually did most of the talking.

He had just graduated from a local high school, he liked to draw but had never used a computer for anything but email and the internet (from what I could tell). He's going to Northern Arizona and has enrolled in their graphic design course/major. He showed me his sketchbook and laughed nervously... a lot.

That's all I know. I actually don't think he wanted an internship, he just wanted to know what he could do with a graphic design major.

So there you go. On another note, I don't know why my boss is always so shocked when she finds out, again, that I majored in photography and not design.

UPDATE: Wrong kid. There's another one who's coming for an interview about an internship - he is still in highschool.

For those that know me well and in person, I give you this:


toothpastefordinner.com

Okay, so the client I don't like - remember, the fast talker?

He's scared of me.

Let me write this again. He's scared... of ME.

I couldn't believe this when they told me. Yes I don't like him, BUT - I've only ever had to deal with him personally twice and I was nothing but nice.

So apparently he thinks I don't like him (I don't, but I don't think I showed it) and he's scared of me.

It's a good thing my boss thought this was hysterical.

***

Oh, if only I could get video of Samson (the half chihuahua-half beagle) trying to run on the wooden floors in circles. It's all he can do to keep his hind legs from sliding out from under him. It's hysterical.

So my sister gets every possible magazine known to man. I think it happened when we moved and she filled out this little form that the post office gave her to forward magazines.

Or when she decided to sign up to the Pottery Barn mailing list.

Anyways, she now gets Robert Redford's Sundance Catalog and I was looking through it last night.

And on the first page - a Holga for $75!! Even B&H only has them for about $40. Damn people for making this great little camera a novelty item, I got mine for $12.

I do love mine though. That said, I hope their little "book with instructions" mentions black electrical tape to keep the back from leaking light.

Oh and further into the catalog - a pack of 4 Cheerwines for $25, before shipping. Just call me, I'll get you some for like $0.89.

Just got home and opened a letter from WVTF. Seems the chair in the waterfall has been chosen as a finalist in the show.

I'm really excited, especially since after I entered I researched the juror (I know I should've done that before). Let's just say her style had me anxious that she'd like anything.

Finalists are exhibited July 2 - 31 and awards will be announced on July 20 at the Open House.

YAY! Send good vibes my way!



Addendum: This is why Doug is my favorite "GE Guy" - he goes, "just one?!"

Look what happens when poor, tenth-century folk have never seen a lion - they give us Mickey Mouse.

I dunno about you, but that smiley, happy face definitely says power and strength to me.

via The Discovery Channel

Adfreak has posted about Hillary Clinton's new "campaign song." And of course, as all three of you know, Celine Dion should never be used for endorsements ever again.

But, the intriguing part is that the video for her new campaign song parallels The Soprano's ending and Adfreak asks us to:

Consider: Someone in Clinton’s camp thought equating Hillary with a psychopathic, murderous crime boss would soften her image.

Well, um... one other thing - anybody think that spot is even odder after being reminded of this?

And as a disclaimer I'm not saying whether I believe that or not. I'm just putting it out there in reference to the "psychopathic murderous crime boss" image.

Monday when I got my car back I was a bit miffed about my door. I know I said I'm coming to terms with what it means to have a recycled door but it's still irritating. The door I received, while nice on the outside, is completely banged and scuffed up on the inside.

So while I was inside my car listening for new bumps or rattles or noises and noticing that the impact of the hit broke my radio display, I tried wiping down the car door... to no avail.

But what did I do after that?

Lock my keys in my car.

Yep.

The only good thing is I have one of the keyless things and my keys WERE NOT in the ignition.

***

So it seems I'm not overly sensitive about my door. I've gone and requested several other opinions and the verdict is in - I could definitely break my key off in the door if I'm not careful.

It sticks, horribly, and it's not aligned right. The corner of the driver's door is banging into the back door and nicking paint. Apparently the car door I received was originally red.

So this means giving my car back to the shop... which I'm dreading so I haven't called yet. And yes, I realize I need to do this ASAP.

***

I've been trying to pack my lunch, but today I have to go out and get something to eat as our mayonnaise had expired and I didn't notice till after I fixed the tuna fish. Incidentally, it didn't make me sick on Monday, but I've again asked for a vote and it seems I should be safe rather than sorry and not eat it.

***

I have no idea what to get my sister for her birthday. Either of them.

And with a ballot I don't have... I'd like to know what company is selling my work email to all these con artists.

New Premier House
6 th Floor - 150 Southhampton row
Russell Square
WC1 B5 AL LONDON
UNITED KINGDOM
+447011139397

WINNING/BALLOT NO:GSA/XX3/7450

DEAR LUCKY WINNER,

YOU ARE LUCKY TO BE LISTED AS ONE OF THE BENEFICAIRIES OF THE MICROSOFT EMAIL REWARD. YOU ARE REWARDED WITH THE SUM OF $378,000,00 AND YOUR WINNING WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOU REGARDING HOW YOU WANT TO COLLECT YOUR WINNING. YOU ARE REQUESTED TO CONTACT OUR REWARD CENTER WITH THIS EMAIL ADDRESS, (microsoftreward@mail.ru) ON WHO TO COLLECT YOUR WINNING.

PLEASE MAIL BACK WITH YOUR INFORMATION AS FOLLOWS FOR DELIVERY OF YOUR WINNING.

NAME:

AGE:

SEX:

ADDRESS:

OCCUPATION:

COUNTRY:

EMAIL ADDRESS:

PHONE NUMBER:

NOTE: BENEFICIARIES ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR TRANSFER CHARGES.PLEASE INDICATE OPTION THAT BEST SUITS YOU.DECLARATION: PAYMENT MODE.

1.BANK TO BANK TRANSFER.
2. CERTIFIED CHEQUE MADE OUT IN YOUR NAME COURIERED TO YOU VIA OUR AFFILIATE COURIER COMPANY AND WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOUR ADDRESS.

NOTE THAT YOU HAVE LIMITED TIME TO GET TO CLAIM YOUR WINNING AS ALL UNCLAIMED WINNING WILL BE REVERTED FOR NEXT MONTHS BONAZA ON THE 15TH OF JULY 2007.PLEASE IN ORDER TO SECURE YOUR WINNING KEEP THE WINNING BALLOT NUMBER SECRET.


Disclaimer note on content of this message including enclosure(s) and attachments(s): The contents of this e-mail are the privileged and confidential material of VSNL.. The information is solely intended for the individual/entity it is addressed to. If you are not the intended recipient of this message,please be aware that you are not authorized in any which way whatsoever to read, forward, print,retain, copy or disseminate this message or any part of it. We apologize if you have received this e-mail in error and would request you to please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail and delete it from your computer. The views expressed in this e-mail message are those of the individual sender,except where the sender expressly, and with authority, states them to be the views of VSNL. This e-mail message including attachment(s), if any, is believed to be free of any virus and VSNL is not responsible for any loss or damage arising in any way from its use. Information contained and transmitted by this email is confidential
and proprietary to microsoft.

Someone needs to make me stop volunteering to do things.

Really.

I don't think anyone would be fooled by this, especially with the URL at the end.

A new YouTube video is promoting a movie called "The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep." I'm not sure this movie interests me, and I love that sort of stuff. I've also never heard Nessie called a water horse... but maybe I dosed off during a program.

Anyway watch the video - found via Cryptomundo and one clever commenter notes that "at the end of the breaching action, the tail of the well known organism that the pleisasaur was edited onto… [is] an Orca. If this were done better, we would never have seen the tail."

But what better way to promote a movie then by faking some new footage? If they'd really wanted to make people send this video to all their friends and go to the website - they shouldn't have gone so over the top.

While I laughed at this... and I admit I'm weird. I don't know if this is effective to the target audience. An article on Slate states this is the best anti-drug ad - EVER. The commenters, however, disagree.

I am coming to terms with the term "recycled door."

I'm also coming to terms with the wreck breaking things that probably will not be fixed but bug me because my car was extremely well taken care of.

There's also a new sound from the engine that I'm ignoring. Hopefully if I ignore it, it will go away.

But I'm not driving the Monte Carlo - and that makes me very happy.

I found this today. Apparently Google has a homepage much like Yahoo and MSN for their Gmail users. Well, I knew that - but I didn't know they added themes.

The sun moves throughout the day in accordance to where I live. (That's where the sun is at 2:00, I also get sunrises and sunsets). Trust me, that was the best one.

Having a week-long vacation in two weeks makes one useless.

In other news, I received a message on my home phone (which I never check) on Friday from Enterprise informing me that Rockingham Group had called them and told them that Friday would be the last day they would pay for the rental car. I needed to return the car by midnight.

Oh hell no.

Of course by the time I get home Rockingham Group is closed as is my State Farm agent's office and the body shop. I called Rockingham Mutual and got some generic claims office, again, and left a message. I then called Enterprise and they told me not to worry about it since my car wasn't done.

So, I called the body shop this morning, they forgot to check the alignment and so my car should be done this afternoon. I called State Farm and my agent assured me that they would extend the rental car since my car isn't ready until this afternoon, but if I had a problem to let her know.

I then called Rockingham Group, got the voice mail of the woman I want to talk to and haven't heard a thing back since. I think this is the worst insurance company I've ever had to deal with, and I don't like dealing with the State Farm claims people. These people are worse. I can't wait for this to be over with.

Update: I FINALLY talked to her and the rental has been extended. Now I'm able to breathe normally again.

Alright, I'm off to submit everything. Doug likes the doll the best.

Cross you fingers... and keep them crossed until the 22nd (because that's when I find out if I've been chosen for exhibition).

OK, I went home and looked through all my prints and got input from the family. Everyone's given me money so that I can enter 3 photographs because no one could choose.

I entered these:
Untitled #1 (Tea-stained Silver Gelatin Print, 5x7)


Untitled #2 (Silver Gelatin Print, 8x10)


Untitled #3 (Silver Gelatin Print, 11x14)

I can sell them if I want to - but I can't decide if I want to. But I've got to decide quick as I have to drop them off on my lunch break. I don't want to sell #3. But if I did, I was thinking $50, $100, $150?



p.s. And I couldn't find the acceptable print of the self-portrait.

I've decided to submit work to a local juried art show - it raises money for public radio.

I'm trying to decide what to submit, I'll have to go home and look through things.

I might be getting an intern.

Well, not just me, the agency... but I'd be in charge of him.

We're probably interviewing him next weekish. I've never been in charge of an intern... this could be fun. ;)

Any tips? Suggestions of questions to ask him?


p.s. Not only is my ear drum vibrating but I'm having trouble focusing - literally (my eyes are fuzzy) and figuratively (I'm rechecking blogs instead of working on those logos). I need to get to work.

EW.

I can't even imagine this would be good. Those crazy Japanese.

If it was available in America Fred could've had it with the 22oz Pink Pony steak and made a meal of nastiness.

Found via The Consumerist, there are also YouTube videos there of a taste test - a description like "Satan in my mouth" can't be good.

Also in other news, and you'll find out if you read about the steak, Fred is ending Freelancefred (*tear*), so go read his archives before he takes it down... you have time, go.

Oh, and my ear drum is vibrating. This can't be good.

Update: I've read some of the comments and some places they sell cucumber water and they say it is refreshing. That I could buy, but I can't believe this is refreshing after all the chemicals they put into it. I like Diet Coke and real lemon, but I didn't like the Diet Coke and Lemon drink because the lemon tasted chemically (if that's a word).

Stop. It. Now.

I admit it - I've used the phrase "rock star parking" when I get an parking space RIGHT by an establishment's door.

BUT THAT IS THE ONLY TIME I USE IT. And I do so in the privacy of my car to very close friends.

Now everyone's using it, including advertisments. But I'll let someone else tackle that one.

Today I'm going over something that is just as bad, or worse, in my opinion. Something that has been brewing in my annoyances pot for a while now. The rock star hand sign.

Unless you have long, greasy hair and are wearing a Pantera shirt or are actually on stage rocking (and even then you might look dumb), STOP IT.

And stop using it in your MySpace profile photos. I'm talking to you... the girl in 4-inch heels, trendy clothing and the pompadour. Oh and the tongue - stick that thing back in your mouth, you look like an idiot.

All this tells me is that you definitely DO NOT rock and that you are trying too hard. I'm telling you this for your own good, no one thinks you're cool but you and your drunk friend beside you.

I'm serious, stop.

Seems the gubernatorial panel researching the VT shooting are running into extremely frustrating road blocks with Cho's mental health records:

Panel member Tom Ridge asked Stewart [the Inspector General and consulting psychiatrist] whether any record is available to prove whether Cho got court-ordered treatment. When Stewart said he couldn't comment, Ridge clenched his jaw and said, "Fascinating."

So after reading this, along with everything else I read in the news, I saw what a friend of mine had posted as a bulletin on MySpace, don't know if he wrote it or if he got it somewhere else but I thought I'd share....

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies such as don't spend more than you can earn and adults, not children, are in charge.

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his Wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Yes, that's what I said, Tiny Ninja Theater. And Shakespeare no less.

"Romeo & Juliet" (poster pictured) and "Macbeth" will be performed using little figurines at the Kennedy Space Center in DC.

Not only will they be projecting the play on video screens for the audience BUT (yes, that's right) we can watch in ONLINE.

Tonight at 6pm is "Macbeth" for our viewing pleasure. And "Romeo & Juliet" is the 13th and 14th.

I made your Tuesday, didn't I?

Tiny Ninja Theater

I think this might be one of the coolest ideas ever.

Update: I'm watching "Macbeth," this guy is rather awesome - the weird sisters are hysterical (they're an alien figurine).

I don't know if anyone has seen this - I saw it watching The Discovery Channel the other day (I think). But I laughed so hard I could hardly breathe. I love the actress and her hand gestures.

I left my keys in someone else's car Sunday night and therefore did not have them Monday morning. This is what happens when something breaks my routine - it's not that I can't walk and chew gum at the same time - but since my brain is going in 40 directions at once my routine becomes really important.

At least I didn't lock them in the rental car (which I still have - I can't wait to get my car back).

So I left them in a friend of my mother's car and had to get her up to get the number and get my keys, so I was running late yesterday and despite the day being fine, I felt behind.

Better this morning but the rental car is telling me that I need to check the left rear tire's pressure. ???????????

I JUST WANT TO TALK TO A PERSON.


Well... it appears that hitting "0" eight times will accomplish that.

Update: WOW. She was pleasant. [/sarcasm] I TRIED to be nice. I asked her how she was and everything. I realize working for the IRS customer service line is rough (I used to work at a bank) but for goodness sakes... you could at least try to be nice.

So some (okay, most) of my photographs with my new (refurbished) digital camera have come out fuzzy. And at first I thought it was the camera. And it was making me upset.

And before I tell you this, I'm going to say that if this had been a good old fashioned film camera I WOULD HAVE SEEN THIS. Yes, I would have.

There was a thumb print on my lens... which took up the entire lens. I'm not sure how it got there because I haven't touched it, but it was there.

When I look through the view finder on my manual cameras I can see exactly what my lens sees - fingerprints, scratches, dust, and everything and I can do something about it. And I think to look because there's a good size area to have that sort of thing happen. This thing is like a half an inch, how'd a fingerprint even get on it?

So yeah, hopefully my shots will be über sharp now. Well, as sharp as they can be.

Man in wheelchair takes ride on semi's grill

By MARC THOMPSON

PAW PAW -- The Michigan State Police Paw Paw Post and Van Buren County Central Dispatch began receiving strange reports of a man in a wheelchair being pushed by a semi truck on Wednesday afternoon.

As the truck was leaving a gas station, the 21-year-old man wheeled his chair in front the vehicle and the wheelchair became lodged by its handles in the front grill of the truck. The unwitting truck driver then proceeded to travel west on Red Arrow Highway at speeds of approximately 50 mph.

Police initially thought the report might have been a prank until they started receiving more reports of the situation.

The truck traveled for an estimated four miles unknowingly pushing the man in the wheelchair. The driver then pulled into the Ralph Moyle Trucking Company with wheelchair and occupant still attached. When troopers arrived, they discovered the man was unharmed and unfazed by the incident.

Police approached the driver and advised him of the man in the wheelchair. The driver did not believe them until he stepped out of the truck and saw the man still sitting in the chair.

The young man said it was quite a ride.

One trooper on the scene said it would be possible to work another 90 years in law enforcement and never see an incident such as this one.

Everybody said they are just glad no one was injured.

via Wood TV8 from Grand Rapids

I'm a little late on this as I don't watch MTV anymore (music TV my @$$). Last night as I was flipping channels I managed to catch the first part of the MTV movie awards.

Now, I may be the only person in the world that doesn't find Sarah Silverman particularly funny - BUT - what I did find hilarious (I am so mean) was Paris Hilton's face during her opening monologue. I laughed so hard I almost woke up my sister.

So the lead story for today is that Norris Hall will begin to reopen as offices and laboratories, but no classes.

Now keep in mind - the VT tragedy is not on the front page of the paper everyday. It was for about a week and a half after the shootings, but unless it's some major new development it'll get a side column or be put in the Virginia section.

Now, I'm in our production area mocking up some collateral to send to a client when one of my bosses walks in, looks at the paper - and in the most exasperated voice you can imagine, throws her hands up, and goes "enough with the Virginia Tech stuff already!"

I felt that it was in my best interest to keep my mouth shut because telling her what I was thinking was probably not a good idea. I don't know what she looked at next, but not a minute later she says, "I thought Angelina and Brad weren't together anymore?"

Yeah.

You can't see this because she was driving like a bat out of hell... and well, I was driving as well. I know, not safe.

It says: Bad at Driving, Good at Selling Homes... then her name, photograph and phone number.

She cut me off and that's when I saw the back of her car.

You know what I like? Going into a file that I need and seeing that my boss has rearranged my entire design.

[/sarcasm]

It's not that she can't - but she could at least tell me about it.

Besides, if I'd typeset the kerning with that much space she would've hated it, but since she did it... it's okay.

What's even more annoying is it's for the client that I hate that doesn't want me to "reinvent the wheel." So I didn't. And now since the client has explained that he had to have the website redesigned because it was a package deal everyone loves him again.

I know hate is a strong word... but I hide from the guy when I see him in the grocery store.

Well... I don't think I've found a blog that likes this little thing. Well, I did find one that said it could grow on her. And I don't think I have to even say my opinion.

I had to be told what it was - I never saw the 2012. And I definitely don't have the dirty mind I thought I did as I never saw, well, the other thing.

I asked my sister when I came home from work what she saw - she goes "2012."

As my mouth dropped she goes, "I'm an accountant... I see numbers everywhere."

Fair enough. But now, thanks to the dirty minds on the internet, I will never see the numbers anyways.

Update: I asked my Mom what she thought it was... she said a puzzle and then I had to point out the 2012. She asked who designed it and I said a agency in London. She looked at me and winked and goes "were they on crack?"

I love my Mom.

Should we be worried that one of the "favorite fetches" on DogPile is for DUI Attorneys?

Click for bigger image.

I just heard this on the radio coming back from lunch - the thought process consisted of:

1) What the hell is this?
2) Oh, I guess some skinny white boys have done their version of "Baby Got Back"
3) Wait, it's for Hardees? That's dumb.

Now I've an association of someone's flat ass and the burger they want me to eat. I don't think you want that association, but that's just me...

I see this is also on Adrants.

I traded in the rental car - for one that doesn't smell like G-d only knows what. Enterprise was actually very nice when I took it back.

Now... well, I've got a Chevy Monte Carlo. Doug made fun of me and told me all the Nascar guys would like me now.

I told him he wasn't funny. I don't care as long as it doesn't smell, although... those doors are HEAVY. It hurts when they slam on you.

I have 5 huge phone books sitting on my counter waiting to be recycled. I only need one, but I've gotten 6 in the mail recently.

I don't even use the phone book, I look numbers up online.

So what to do when you want people to keep your book? The guys at Roanoke Verizon Yellow Pages give out free gas.

Who thinks being told to completely rethink the logo and give 5 new options on Tuesday and being told to rethink the logo using certain elements of the previous almost-approved logo (which had been revised 6 times) is the same thing?

Yeah, see I thought so too. (I wanted to print this off and highlight #1 for her)

I know why this job frustrates me so much... because my hard work and brainstorming for hours gets me the same place as if I throw something on her desk.

I did it right with the last website. I threw some half-assed stuff on her desk - she got to give me her opinion. I then took some time, came up with something cool using one or two of her suggestions, and she loved it with absolutely no changes.

I forgot to do that with the logos because I was trying to impress and it back-fired on me. I hate playing games, it's possibly why I also suck at dating, but that's a whole 'nother can of something.

Of course, it bugs me that I KNOW this and didn't do it. Perhaps that copywriter was right....