Thinking in vain...

Every McDonald's within the listening area of a local radio station is giving away free breakfast and coffee to all first responders who come in in their uniforms.

And there's way too much argument going on about whether or not to light the damn star. BTW - they're turning it off. They turned it off for September 11th too.

I also don't think some people realize how much of their tax money it wastes to change the bulbs on that thing....

http://www.remembrance.vt.edu/

Go ahead, tell me that image isn't creepy. I love it though.

Artist's website here, but I think I found it on FFFFound. But I found a better website - We heart it, basically because I can have an account. :)

I forgot what blog I found We heart it on, but when I figure it out, I'll give you credit...

The client sent the ad back, designed, for me to tweak = If it looks like crap, not my fault.

Me feeling under the weather = I'll probably lose a couple of pounds.

My Mom being told to take it easy = I got to spend the whole weekend with her.

I still have my fingers crossed for all those people that I told I would. Hopefully your searches and new jobs are going great. :)

Now, it's my blog and I'm going to have a release. So if you're not interested just skip this. I'll see if I can find something more interesting to post later.

Monday morning started off with a phone call at about 6:00am. My mother's head and right arm were numb, the room was spinning and she felt like she was going to pass out. And she just wanted to let someone know in case something happened. I told her I was taking her to the ER. I then decided to call 9-1-1 instead just in case she did in fact pass out. The last thing I wanted was to be half way there and she need something that I can't give her – like CPR.

We got to the ER around 6:45. Around 7:30ish a resident came into talk to us and get all the information and past history. So we told them that she's had repeated head injuries for the last 3 years, she's had a spinal leak, that she's got a moderate to severe narrowing of the ephemeral nerve and everything else. All the while my mom is still having the waves of numbness. It's not until about 11 that the resident comes back, tells us that she's consulted with the attending and tells us my mother has an inner ear problem and they're going to give her medication for vertigo and send us home.

Oh hell no.

My mother has been a nurse for 40+ years, everyone in my family is practically in the medical field – my sister and I don't take someone to the ER because of vertigo. Yes, she was dizzy, but I'm pretty sure an inner ear problem doesn't cause your head and arm to go numb. Even if it did, with all the problems my mother has with her head and neck, that's the dumbest diagnosis. And we told them that. I also realize all the tests are normal - but not everything comes up on a CT Scan.

Also, I realize that you, as the attending ER physician, are very busy. I realize you have people coding and having problems that seem a lot more dire than my mother's... but if YOU SHUT UP for 5 seconds and stop talking over my mother like she's an idiot maybe you could actually listen to her tell you that what she's having is not vertigo.

We then told her that we weren't going anywhere until her PCP gave his opinion. So we got a "we're waiting on him to call us back." Then they left us there for 2 hours. We finally asked if he'd called back and the nurse tells us that he's coming. She said she didn't know why no one had thought to tell us. An hour after that the attending comes back and tells us the same thing and that she would have told us sooner but she was a little busy. Whatever.

Skip ahead to 6:00 that night and he finally gets there. Which is fine, he's seeing patients all day in his practice. He didn't get to the ER last time until around 6, we were figuring on that.

He tells us that it probably has to do with her cervical nerves and that he needs to get an MRI of her neck and nerve conduction tests. We can go home but she's not to do anything strenuous and to see him Tuesday.

Funnily enough, the nurse comes in like 15 minutes later and says our PCP is on his way. We're like he's already been here and gone. He was a little angry with them. And turns out that they kept the vertigo diagnosis and coded it like that even after he told us that wasn't the problem. Which we're also mad about because that messes with her medical records.

Anyways. She's taking it easy. She's got a cervical MRI and a Cerebral MRA tomorrow and hopefully we'll get the results back soon. Unfortunately, the doctor thinks that there are really only two options: a steroid injection into her spine - which is what gave her the spinal leak the last time or surgery. Neither of which may actually fix the problem or help with symptoms.

Worst part is she's horribly upset that she's being a burden to us and is terrified of both the surgery and the injection.

*sigh* So there.

Now back to work. Concentrating has been hard this week....

I've been informed that I'm too high strung and that I need to relax or I may give myself a stroke.


btw - I was a little worried about mercury poisoning yesterday...


***Title refers to Fred's shirt that I can't find anymore...

No April Fools Jokes here. (I always thought it had to do with the calendar as well, but maybe I was wrong... )

A coworker mentioned that today was only for people that weren't funny the other 364 days of the year... ha ha. Although I think mild pranks could be funny. I fell for another coworker's prank even though I was fully aware of what today was.

Any way, here are the Top 100 April Fool Hoaxes of all time... enjoy.

Via Rag and Bone.

*Title refers to the one and only time I tried to pull an April Fools Day joke on my mother...

So I finally got with the times and started using a RSS reader... I'm procrastinating efficiently now. :)

Doctors said the woman should not complain as the best way to tighten the skin and remove the wrinkles was to make her breasts bigger.

Article....

Most. Distrubing. Teddy Bear. Ever.

Found via FFFFound.

On February 8, 2008, Polaroid Corporation announced that it will discontinue production of all instant film. This site will document the aftermath of this announcement and will serve as a home-base for the effort to convince another company to begin producing the cherished technology that Polaroid has so carelessly abandoned.

This site is not about saving Polaroid, the company, rather the remarkable invention of Edwin Land, the instant film that made Polaroid a household name.

What We’ve Done So Far
Since this announcement, we’ve been assembling articles, links, stories and planning out the best way to create a joint effort to save instant film. We’ve contacted Polaroid, Fuji and Ilford about licensing. We have more in the works and will update this site regularly.

http://www.savepolaroid.com/

But I think it's creepy and I would get rid of cable. Save me money.

Comcast is experimenting with camera technology. More specifically, it trying out technology that turns cable boxes into camera-equipped devices that would utilize body-form-recognition as a means to provide custom-tailored service, and, of course, custom tailored advertising. The boxes would be able to tell who is in the room based on the shape of their body, thus tailoring programming to fit their specific desires and security settings (when children are involved). Facial recognition is not in the works as of yet.

Comcast Wants to Put Cameras in Your Home.

A New York auction house is selling a primitive photograph that could be a much earlier work than originally believed. If so, it says, it would be one of the most important discoveries in the history of photography.

Article.

Click for article about cameras being attached to elephants.

Tapeworm Diet

That's just amazingly gross.... and I will gladly go away like he said to.



(Found because of a link on Cracked)

And Calling President Washington "G-Money" Is Just Wrong

American history professor: Whoever is writing 'vah-jay-jay' instead of 'Virginia' in the notes they are submitting, please stop.



eavesdropdc.blogspot.com
via Overheard Everywhere

Bono = Evil

Regrowing Limbs: Can People Regenerate Body Parts? Progress on the road to regenerating major body parts, salamander-style, could transform the treatment of amputations and major wounds...

You know, my the man that taught me art when I was younger was a Cherokee medicine man - if I'm not mistaken (or mixing up my stories) he regrew his little finger.

Also, a good family friend - his grandmother put his uncle's finger back on. Apparently he lost it in some sort of farm accident. They brought him and his finger to her and she reconnected it by saying a bible verse. I'm just saying.... The family is from deep Appalachia - his stories are sort of mind-blowing.

How cool... you can look at more on both those sites.

Desiree Palmen

Via Rag and Bone

Shroud of Turin Debate Rekindled

Skeptics have attempted to reproduce the image by various means. Advanced analysis showed that the image had three-dimensional qualities, which many feel has eliminated the idea that it is a clever painting. The forgery theory most often cited comes from a 2005 experiment by a French magazine, which said it reproduced the image by laying a wet strip of linen on a bas-relief and daubing at it with a red, ferric oxide pigment mixed with gelatin. The image produced was three-dimensional and permanently fixed in the fabric.

But other questions remain. One scientist who examined evidence collected during the 1978 examination reported that he found grains of pollen on the shroud that could only have come from the Middle East. A DNA test was conducted in 1995 on a sample of the pigment.

“That was not an authorized test, but it was done from an actual sample of the shroud’s blood,” Schwortz told Lauer. “They determined that it was very degraded, but they were able to determine that it was male and human. Whether or not newer types of DNA analysis could tell us more really would depend on the Turin authorities giving permission for this type of testing to be done.”

After viewing the new Snapple commercial for Vitamin Water where the whole world is wrapped in bubble wrap:

"That's dumb."

"Bubble wrap will not save you from an 80-floor fall."

"That's dumb."

This was pointed out to me when I posted that M&Ms commercial by Joshua Shaner.

OMG - weird... and ridiculous.

To get that out of your head, I give you something actually funny dealing with Hot Pockets.

All I see is Cheetos commercials now. Perhaps it's because I'm trying to be good and eat right while I'm trying to train for a 5K - even though I totally killed way too many pieces of pizza last night.

But anyways - these don't make me gag. But - YOU ARE SO WASTING VALUABLE CHEETOS. I don't even like to share when I know someone else will be enjoying them as well.

But the Cheetos in the dryer is deliciously evil. I'm so glad I don't have to go to the laundry mat anymore.

Even though everyone probably celebrated over the weekend (if you're going to celebrate it) - here are some drinking rules from last year and Russell Crowe singing Molly Malone with Great Big Sea and Carbon Leaf at Saturday's ShamrockFest in D.C.

Article...


UPDATE: OMG - YouTube

Totally won a free lunch today because I knew an answer to a trivia question.

Irish Saint Brendan the Voyager was supposed to have discovered the Americas a thousand years before Columbus.

So having to read The Voyage of St. Brendan in college won me a free lunch. The only other thing I really remember on cue from that class is about Irish heroes and how they calculate Easter.

Kinda awesome.

It's also my boss's birthday on Monday (what a kick-ass birthday) and I'm trying to figure out something to get him.

More later...

I got a raise today and a good 6 month review.


Also: I bought "Supernatural Superserious" from R.E.M.'s new album on iTunes yesterday – I hearts it.

I nearly had a panic attack and passed out yesterday.

I'll update more later since now I'm retouching some photos from that shoot, but let's just say - I'm not terrified (necessarily) of heights just the steps that are so steep they're like ladders. Yeah, I HATE those. I have dreams of being stuck on floors and ledges where those are the only way down (and of course some steps are missing).

Anyways. Oh hell, I'll just tell you now. So I was taking shots of a new factory that was being opened and I noticed there was a platform about 2-stories up where I could get a great shot of the entire factory. First off I didn't think they'd allow me up there and then I noticed the stairs which were almost vertical, so I decided against it.

About 3 minutes later one of the managers of the factory came over (he must've seen me looking at the platform) and told me I could get some great shots of the factory up there.

And that's when I don't know what the in the world possessed me - but I decided that I'd go up there. So about half-way up I realize I'm getting REALLY high, but I was actually too scared to turn around and I didn't want to look dumb by only going half-way up.

So I took some great shots, I was a little shaky but okay. Then I realized that I had to get down. And that's when I had a panic attack. I had to go back down that ladder.

It took me about 5 minutes to get down the ladder because I was so shaky and I was terrified of falling backwards.

So I get down and then, the guy looks at me and says - there's an easier platform at the back but I wanted to see if you'd go up there.

If I hadn't be so wobbly and light-headed I might have hit him. Because that's when I look back and see a smaller but same height platform that has 2 levels of wrap-around (and less steep) steps that I didn't even notice before.

Good news is that I didn't pass out, because not only do I have no idea how they would've gotten me down, but I most certainly would've ruined the ribbon-cutting and made the nightly news.

If you didn't know that I was a bit of a hypochondriac or maybe with this I would be paranoid - either way, now you do.

I have sufficiently freaked myself the hell out this morning: 4.1 Million American's Drinking Water Contaminated. The comments are making me feel mildly better....


Another thing: funniest comment so far though is from youbastid

Now I can get my drugs in more places, like Losangebostonyorkicago.

I am not a fan of Daylight Saving Time.

It's too dark. And it will only confuse the birds for a little while.


****


The photo shoot went well. More later.


****


I learned that Fed-Ex drivers need their own lane. This would be in addition to a lane for just truckers.


****


The 5K training is going "meh." If any of you are runners/walkers and can tell me why my right knee is now popping and hurting at the back of my knee, I'd appreciate it. Oh, and also the side of my knee seems to be swollen. This is in fact, not the knee of the knee cap I broke, but the other one.


****


Interestingly enough - this blog turned 1 year-old over the weekend. Thank you, Jetpacks :)

I really never thought I'd have people who check my blog daily, so thanks. :)












[Image from Pink Cake Box's Flickr Stream - I wish I could make cakes that looked like that.]

I was going to write about my day (the drive up here was awesome) - but I am officially on the slowest laptop in the world. It's mine. I keep meaning to update and fix it and then don't and then end up in some hotel room very far away cursing myself for not doing it.

I can't get through a sentence without it giving me the beachball. Anyways. Smile, the week's half over. :)

Getting ready to leave on a photo shoot. YAY!

Write later. :)

I'm not crazy busy - but I have nothing to post about.

I've agreed to train with a neighbor of mine for a 5K. We'll see how it goes. I power-walked the 4 miles with her that we'll be training on yesterday. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I'm secretly glad I'll be out of town on a photo shoot Wed – Friday. Even though I will try not to be a slacker and I'll see if the hotel has a gym.

The ADDYs were Saturday. We did well. I even had a name on the credits of two of them. Which was kinda cool. I ran into my old boss and she gave me a very big hug. It wasn't as awkward as I would've imagined it would be. So yay for that.

I'm going to go find something to do.

Some of you know I love weird stuff. And if you don't, now you do. LOVE it. Let me be clear that I don't necessarily BELIEVE it. But I love to watch and read up on it. Bigfoot, UFOs, ghosts, all of it.

So articles like this catch my eye. It's about a Firefighter's manual that supposedly has a chapter about what to do if you have to respond to what ends up (I'm guessing) and alien crash site. Best part though - it's Chapter 13. REALLY??

A 600-page guide may lend credibility to UFO believers.

The Fire Officer's Guide To Disaster Control can apparently be found in firehouses across the United States.

It covers everything from fire and flood response to aviation disasters.

Chapter 13 of the book has an unusual twist. Titled "Enemy Attack And UFO Potential", it outlines what could happen in the event of a UFO crash.

If you're bored and need a laugh, the article is here.

I'm trying to log out and I get this:

403 Forbidden: The server understood the request, but is refusing to fulfill it.

Damn it. I'm going to try Safari. Maybe it's a problem with Firefox. Me and Firefox are going to fight if it doesn't start behaving.


UPDATE: No, it's a Twitter problem. Firefox isn't out of the doghouse yet though.

I'm going to do this:

Absolute Powerpoint Corrupts Absolutely
Professor flipping rapidly between Powerpoint slides: Take notes now, suckers!


Overheard by: a fan of this professor
via Overheard Everywhere, Feb 15, 2008

I wished I'd known about this contest BEFORE. Oh well. I think this is my favorite. See the others here.

BTW - I got my Holga for $12. Amazon has them for double and other sites are only selling starter kits for $70+.

I'm such a luddite when it comes to photography.









Jenny Zink Reames, Field of dandelions in Grinnell, Iowa.

toothpastefordinner.com

I think I hurt my arm. Specifically I think I pulled a muscle in my bicep. Basically because I'm an idiot - ow, it hurts to type - and because I have nothing else better to write about. Unless you want to hear about what I did last night or the stupid Lectric Shave commercial. That. They. Will. Not. Stop. Playing. It's so creepy too... "Wake up your whiskers!" Yeah, didn't think so...

Now you wouldn't think this would hurt my arm. I was carrying books. 4 books to be exact. Yeah, they're design books - but not the big ones. I cleaned off my bookcases and had extra books, so I figured I'd just bring them to work. They weren't that heavy when I left the house. It took me about 6 minutes to figure out how to get everything in my hands and out of the car. The parking attendant is staring at me the whole time - then I remembered why it was so difficult. I'd stopped for coffee (btw, the drive-thru has been around for like 60 years - how do people not know how these things work???? MOVE.)

Also, the walk to my office is a LOT longer than the one from my house to my car. I almost dropped the books when some random person honked and waved at me. I don't think I knew the person. Either way - if you see someone struggling like I was, how about we not honk at them when you're less than a foot away and scare the shit out of them.

Also, getting in a door with an arm full of books and a cup of coffee is a challenge as well. Next time, I will hopefully think this out a little more - but I can't guarantee that. I gotta take a break - my arm hurts.

The Joe left this on my Myspace page saying: "I found Awesome on YouTube."

We've got another college in the area on lockdown.

UPDATE: Seems like nothing happened or well I guess I should say no one got hurt and they don't think shots were fired. Don't know what's going on.

Also a guy I went to highschool with was arrested for prostitution. He's a teacher.

I want some.

Via Geekologie

Let me preface this by saying that I LOVE Cheetos. I could eat them all day long. Really. I don't like Cheese Puffs - I like Cheetos.

But this, this makes me never want to eat them again. This is disgusting. WTF were they thinking? What is with making food/snacks (ala Planter's Peanuts) as unappetizing as humanly possible. Don't you want the opposite effect on customers??

I found the website that the Official Apology Form came from.

(I had no clue about this and no, I didn't get there by noticing that the web address was at the bottom of the forms.)

I'm going to have some fun with these now...

I could have $25 million. But look - he almost spelled everything correctly and made complete sentences. Thank goodness the money has nothing to do with drugs.

Dear Friend,

I am a financial consultant based in Cote d'Ivoire. I have a client (a widow) who has $25 million dollars with a private equity investment trust company for safe keeping only. She wishes to invest in a stable economy.

Her interest is in companies with potentials for rapid growth in long terms. My client is interested in placing her fund in your company, if your country's bylaw allows foreign investment. I prefer you contact me for more details.

Yours faithfully,
Mr. John Kulma
NB: The fund is free from drug and laundering related offences

Great post on the new Applebee's commercials. When my sister first saw it she looks at me and goes, "Is that a... talking apple?"

I found it (scroll to the bottom). And on top of everything - they're proud enough of this to put it on their website.

Who thought this was a good idea?? I doubt I'm the only the that finds this degrading... and as Jetpacks put it on the previous post - reminiscent of date rape.



JC Penny Hypnotize Commercial

Some of you may not know it (and some of you do), but I love these commercials. I can't help it. I think they're funny. I was looking for the one with the mailman (Mr. Slowsky is getting awfully angry lately)... but found this one instead. Still on the hunt for the "lecture" one.

Am I the only one that thinks this is kinda creepy?

Via Geekologie.

It's... back.

And it's loud. And it's acting odd. At 6:20am every morning this week, he lets out an excruciatingly loud and 2 second long call and then... nothing. Other birds start at around 7:00am... but he just chirps once. Perhaps he is know officially the King of All Birds in my little area of the neighborhood and he doesn't have to show off like he did last year.

This also reminds me that I need to trim the holly bush. Because this makes him go away.

UPDATE - 2.21.2008: I spoke too soon. He went all out this morning. Damn bird.

Or at least I am. An eclipse saved Columbus.

Stranded on the coast of Jamaica, the explorers were running out of food and faced with increasingly hostile local inhabitants who were refusing to provide them with any more supplies.

Columbus, looking at an astronomical almanac compiled by a German mathematician, realised that a total eclipse of the Moon would occur on February 29, 1504.

He called the native leaders and warned them if they did not cooperate, he would make the Moon disappear from the sky the following night.

The warning, of course, came true, prompting the terrified people to beg Columbus to restore the Moon -- which he did, in return for as much food as his men needed. He and the crew were rescued on June 29, 1504.

Full article here. Enjoy the eclipse tomorrow night.

How is this new? I think I was told years and years ago that most identical twins weren't exact "clones" because of genetic mutations. Or am I reading the article wrong?

I mean, I can roll my tongue, my sister can't. There are others. Those simple little recessive vs. dominant gene tests you do in 9th grade biology.

My sister and I were part of a twin study when we were little. We were always within 1/2 inch and a 1/2 pound of each other growing up and we're mirror images (I'm left-handed, she's right). I got birthday cards from them up until I moved out during college. So maybe I'm just smarter.

Dallas County DA's office finds cache of JFK memorabilia

You know my big accomplishment this weekend? I took down my Christmas decorations.


Lemme 'lone. I should get a free pass or something. At least I took my Christmas tree down on New Year's Eve.

I should keep a stack of these at work... no, actually - I've got a whole list of people I think I should mail these too. And, personally, I can always check the option that my "evil twin" did it.

Found here.

You can buy them at Etsy, which I found through Design Crush, which I'm 98% sure I found through WAS.

I have absolutely no idea why I like to post links about baby pandas.

I like donuts. We have one dunkin' donuts here - it shares a store with Baskin Robbins. I don't go in there at all because the temptation is too great. I like their logo.

And I was getting ready to rag all over the commercial I saw last night and how I didnt' get it until I realized the song is by They Might Be Giants. And then I liked it.

Take that how you will.

It's hump day and it's already about 1/4 over. Smile. :)

And for today - a little boy gets stuck in the handcuffs he found in his mother's room. But what I can't figure out is if the firefighter quoted is really serious with the last sentence:

It's beyond my wildest imagination why someone would keep handcuffs in their bedroom!"

Article.

This is two cow stories in the last 4 months.


Article here.

You can read about giant geese if you really want to.

It's not a panda... but it's still cute.

I used to love riddles. In fact, I had this very old book of my mothers and I took it upon myself in about the 3rd grade to memorize all of them... and then probably proceeded to annoy the hell out of everyone I knew.

Like this one:
What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
Answer: The letter M

or

What did the old woman say when she opened her refrigerator and saw that it was bare?
Answer: O I C U R M T

Yeah, I thought I was funny. And either my mother received unmeasurable amounts of joy at seeing my pleasure when I could tell her the answer or she was worn to a frazzle after a day of me and my sister and my stupid jokes and couldn't remember the answer.

So I'm a fan of the new Lexus commercial for their hybrids... even though it annoys me to no end that they decided to give the answer away.

Just kidding. Article here. I can't get to the article on www.badastronomy.com, site won't load.

Gives me nightmares. At least it did Monday morning. I tend to have the most vivid dreams if I wake up early and then go back to sleep. Unfortunately for me, Monday that meant a nightmare.

My nightmares have 3 general themes:

1. I'm walking/standing on some extremely high precipice or something - either a bridge or a mountain or a ledge and I'm desperately trying not to fall off.
2. I'm attempting not to drown in water.
3. Michael Myers

Monday would have been the third theme. I hate these. I can sometimes figure out the symbolism in the first two. This third I got nothing. Sometimes I catch a few minutes of a movie on TV, sometimes I don't. Monday I saw nothing.

It started out innocuous enough, I was taking photographs of a 30-40 year old crime scene. Well, I guess that was kind of ominous. I'm not sure why I was taking photos, but there I was. Several of my coworkers were there, which led me to believe that the crime scene was in one of our offices in another city (Richmond specifically but I've never been there or seen it). Well, the other give away was the fact that they were asking me what I was doing and I told them I was taking pictures for our boss.

The crime scene was at the end of a very long hallway and I was taking photos at the other end from the actual scene. And there was yellow carpet. Horrible yellow carpet. And ugly white walls.

At this point, a acquaintance/friend of mine was standing behind me. Apparently not totally weird in my dream state as he lives in Richmond. I believe it is now at his suggestion that we stay the night and see if the killer comes back or we stay so I can take pictures of ghosts or something. I'm a little fuzzy about this. I'm also a little fuzzy as to why I said yes as that would be insane behavior on my part.

Jump to that night. We're hiding in a tiny, tiny hallway where we can see the crime scene. Oddly enough - no camera. You can reference the diagram I drew. Yeah, I drew one. Don't judge, I did it rather quickly when I couldn't make what it looked like make sense in words.




So there we are, hiding. And then all of a sudden - there he is. Yep, it would be Michael Myers. Apparently, this is his crime scene. So he's standing there looking down at the carpet and then he slowly turns his head and looks at us. Cue the horribly creepy music.

We make a snap decision to jump up on to the partition, since it doesn't go all the way to the ceiling and run for it. He lifts me up, I run to the other side, slumped of course since the ceiling's like 3 feet above where I jumped. When I get to the other side, I jump down land on some grass (???), manage to hurt my leg and all of a sudden I'm now in the neighborhood I grew up in, which is not in Richmond.

I'm not sure what happened to my friend. He's no longer in the dream. More than likely he sacrificed himself to give me more time to get away. I'm not sure he'd do that in real life. Either way, it made me sad. But it made me sad when I woke up because, remember, I still have a deranged lunatic after me.

I am now inside my house waiting to see if he also teleported and followed me. My sister is in her room asleep... and I decided at some point to run outside the house to save her if he's followed me. I look out the window and yep, he's there.

Holy sh*t. I run for my life out the back door, to the front yard, across the street all the time looking behind me to see that looming figure that manages to keep up with me no matter how fast I run. I then run into the backyard of my neighbors and see all of them in their kitchen. I, of course, run to the back door and scream for them to open it. When he does I beg him to let me in and call the police.

This is when my alarm goes off and I realize I just killed my neighbor's entire family. That is, I guess, if I'd stayed asleep. And of course, I killed my friend.

Freaked me the hell out. I was terrified to look out the window for fear that he'd be standing there.

I have MLK Day off. I'm going to enjoy it.

Oh, and also lay on an ice-pack and watch The Discovery Channel because I fell down my steps this morning and attempted to run yesterday.

The video I first saw here. And all I got is a "WTF?"

Best advice regarding the video from The Joe:

Don't let the aliens get you too! Smack a scientologist today!

And he pointed me to Scientology Lies... just in case, I assume.

Just... wow, go look.

I don't know how old this video is. Maybe it's not very old. Either way, it is extremely amusing to college-aged girls.

Either way, this kid is PRICELESS.

I wondered if this would still be funny now that I have gotten some sleep... and yeah, it's still amusing to me.

This is the blood pressure cuff from the ER last two Saturdays ago.

Take a look at the graphics. The guy in the box is a normal adult. Then there's a bigger guy, then, I presume, a giant... with a deformed right arm. So giants with deformed right arms have to have the blood pressure cuff on their leg.

My mother said that was for men with large biceps. I don't think she thought it was funny as I did.

10AM Tides Me Over 'Til I Can Get Out to My Anarchist Compound

Boss: What's your password? I want to sign in and test the new system we set up.

Office gal: 'Detonate.'

Boss: [Silence.]

Office gal: What? I like typing 'Detonate' and hitting 'Enter'! It's extremely satisfying!

60 East 42nd Street
New York, New York

via Overheard in the Office, Jan 7, 2008

toothpastefordinner.com

It goes with the coat...

The original post is tagged for removal (see):

HAUNTED TV - Toshiba TW40 40
HDTV television I am selling my 5 year old Toshiba HDTV because I am a college student who is unable to transport it to another school. It is rather large because its a projection and weighs about 100 pounds. It works fine, has a nice glossy screen and is in good condition.

There is one caveat that I must bring to the buyer's attention: This TV is almost certainly haunted by the spirit of a 1970's-era baptist pastor named Klent Kloom. He is harmless, but the buyer should be comfortable with cries of "HALLELUJIA"" (sic) at unearthly hours of night. I am unfamiliar with exorcism and cannot find a good reference on the internet. ...

But the best part the experts that the author of the article found to help with the haunted TV in the event that he couldn't sell it. He used Profnet, an online service that "connects reporters easily and quickly with expert sources at no charge."

Expert #1 Dali Wiederhoft, vice president of Estipona Group Advertising in Reno:

"Try wearing an aluminum foil beanie while watching the TV. It won't do much for the shouting minister, but it'll keep his head warm and it helps with reception."

Expert #2 self-described Baptist-in-recovery Neil Gussman of Philadelphia's Chemical Heritage Foundation:

"It is quite impossible to exorcise a Baptist preacher from a hallelujah-friendly venue. To get Kloom out of the TV, the new owner only has to play three consecutive French-language films and Kloom will find a stadium sound system to in-dwell."

Last and possibly best—expert #3 Brian Olson of Video Professor, Inc., a Colorado-based self-paced computer software tutorial company, i.e. a tech guy:

"Those old Toshibas are pretty big," he wrote. "Maybe a preacher is really inside the darn thing. He needs to open the back and check. If it is indeed haunted by a Baptist preacher, I'd donate it to a Baptist Church and take the tax deduction."

Article here.

Best part - the frog needed "grounding."

"Ten people subsequently won the lottery which drew crowds to the house - and then they started losing. So I have had to ground her. I promised one day to take her to the seaside, and her dream has come true."

Read the rest.

I know, I know. I've got a million things to post. Well, not really - but you all know me. I do have a back-up, it's just been a busy week.

Thank you to everyone for your sweet and supportive comments and emails. You guys are awesome. :D

He's doing much better now - he'll be in a rehab center for the next 2 weeks and then he should be able to go home. My week also got a lot better and I'm going to try to catch up on my sleep. But now, off to the nursing home!

VENIAMIN'S HUMAN SLINKY

Sent to me by iSkew

Facebook Ads Make You the Star -- And You May Not Know It

But are Facebook users aware of the results of their so-called social actions? "When you become a fan of Blockbuster, nothing tells the [Facebook member] what that means," says Jeremiah Owyang, senior analyst at Forrester Research. Indeed, when you add Blockbuster's Movie Clique application, there is no notification that you are allowing Blockbuster to use your name and profile picture in a display ad. Owyang suggests that Facebook ought to inform users up front and make it very clear what "becoming a fan" entails, or change the system to an opt-in model. Currently, there is not even any way to opt-out of participation in Social Ads, other than by avoiding associating yourself with any corporate brands on Facebook.

Whole article here.

I dreamt I got punched in the nose last night. This girl punched me hard enough that it broke it. When I woke up it still hurt and I had to double-check whether or not my nose was actually broken.

I was also taking dance from Anjelica Huston. Possibly ballet. But then I couldn't get down the stairs from her third floor studio because they were too steep.

There's a good 4 other scenes in this dream but I can't remember them.

Yes, yes... I'm a day late. :p

I hope everyone had a relaxing day yesterday. I'm always a little sad when the holiday season ends. Oh well, back to reality.

I'm still recuperating a bit from New Year's Eve. Wasn't doing *exactly* what I wanted, but I made the most of it. And I suppose it's really about being with good friends and that's really what I was doing. Although, I'm a little worried to see the collection of pictures from the other night.

Anyways, enjoy. :)


[Image from The Chalkboard Manifesto]

I'd never seen this. Maybe because this is the kind of commercial that gets shown on channels I don't watch ala ESPN.

ESPN has cooler commercials than the History Channel.

The first time I saw this commercial was in the theater last Saturday. Apparently no one else had seen it either. It came on, the whole theater got quiet and then when the first guy jumps into the "pool" the whole theater went "Ooooh." And that's not an exaggeration.

[Image: Biblical scenes as seen via Google Earth; by The Glue Society]

Found via BLGGBLOG, via The Creative Review

Don't Make Me Come Down There and Rescue You
Police helicopter hovering with spotlight on suspect, over loudspeaker:

Stop running. You can't get away. Just give yourself up. Stop running... No, don't go in the water. You won't make it across. No, don't-- Yeah, it's fucking cold, isn't it, dumbass? Just get out of the water!

American River Parkway
Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Ree

via Overheard Everywhere, Dec 17, 2007

I read that as Antichrist and I was *really* confused.

Head of the local council Etelka Repas said: "It is crazy - I would have thought it was impossible to steal an entire beach. It was cleaned up and covered for the winter and then suddenly this week we saw that it had totally disappeared - beach and all."

Via Ananova

toothpastefordinner.com

An elderly Hindu priest who claimed his right leg had magical powers was attacked by thieves who chopped it off... Meanwhile Kondaiah, who was discovered in a drugged state with his leg missing, is said to be recovering in hospital, although he is far from happy about what happened to him.

Read the rest of the article.

Since Every Sandwich aka Fred is always scaring me into wanting a bunker in the middle of nowhere with defensible high ground, I thought he'd get a kick out of this Christmas list.

Check out number 5 and number 8, DANGER ROOM'S 2007 Holiday Gift Guide

Took me a while to get around to posting this.

Seems we've had a little mini-version of Boston. The local community college tried to do some guerrilla marketing to promote their design program (perhaps even better would be to graduate students who knew the difference between CMYK and RGB?, but I digress).

They have a website, a myspace page (who befriended me the first part of the week) and they created some bomb scares.

First off... really? Terrorists using bright pink boxes?

Secondly, the guys did a crappy execution with some packing tape. Guerrilla marketing doesn't need to be sloppy. Perhaps if the execution of the idea had been finessed they wouldn't have looked like home-made bombs to all these people. Other than that, it was a neat idea and I liked it.

I was still getting calls today about how my old agency had a bomb scare.

Me: Were they pink?
Them: Well, yes.
Me: Those aren't bombs.
Them: But they said on the news...
Me: Those weren't bombs.


(image gets bigger when you click it, also - their website has screen grabs of the now-seemingly-pulled previous articles.)

So, I leave tomorrow for a wedding in Pittsburgh, I'll be back sometime Monday.

If you've ever been to Pittsburgh, I'd love to know some things to do while I'm not at the wedding.

Oh, and pray for no snow. I mean it, I don't want to die on my way back.

I may have messed up my blog. I was playing with the Blogger in Draft and then I switched back, which wasn't a good idea. So I took off the pop-ups and other such till it calms itself down.

But I am *so* going to make these.


via Czeltic Girl

Last night I saw the one of the new Hummer Helps commercials. I hadn't read anything on the campaign and I didn't get that it was supposed to be rescue workers - I just thought it had fake newspaper clippings.

Course, when I was looking for the commercial on YouTube, this was the first result - which I thought was hilarious.

On the other hand, this may mean that it takes geniuses to follow my round-about insane logic... or it takes into account the links I post which usually have to do with pretty pictures from space.

via Make the Logo Bigger

I've never seen the Declaration of Independence used to sell dating services.

Although, I will point out that even though inalienable may technically be an alternative way to spell it, it's actually "unalienable rights" in the Declaration of Independence.

I'm just saying.

Or deficiency, whatever.

If someone spells something wrong in an email, I will sometimes spell it wrong back so they don't think I'm calling them out on their mistake.

Yeah, I know... very weird.

Martin Waugh's Liquid Sculpture. If anyone feels the need to buy me Christmas presents, the 8x10 is affordable. ;) (I'm just saying.)

via Geekologie

I think most everybody has seen these, but I nearly fell out of my chair I was laughing so hard.

So I'm used to the annual fight over whether or not advertisers should say Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas... I say both, whatever.

But the new TomTom commercial, the one where the girlfriend/wife gets out of the car in the middle of a traffic jam and runs into the store to by her husband/boyfriend the GPS system.

When she gets back in the car, she says: "It's an early holiday present."

What?! No, it's not an early holiday present, it's an early Christmas present. An early "holiday" present sounds completely ridiculous.

Unless I've missed some big underground movement I don't think anyone who doesn't celebrate the three holidays of choice goes around putting up family trees or giving holiday presents.