Thinking in vain...

What's the most pressing piece of business this morning on the last day before I take vacation?

Finding the remote to the TV so that my boss can watch Wimbledon.

There was a dead snake in the road. I work in a little historic district house right outside of downtown... in my head there should not be snakes, nor dead snakes in the road.

That is for the country. I don't work in the country.

I'm sure I looked like an idiot walking the block from my car to the office. I was looking for snakes.

Let me explain my irrational fear of snakes. When I was four we lived on a horse farm, my father found a 6.5 ft black snake while I was with him. We lived in Maryland for a while when I was 6-ish, in the country, and the woods surrounding the house were full of snakes. When I was 8, I was walking with my sister around a garden filled with Cypress Trees and a black snake came within a foot of falling on me.

So yeah, I keep looking under my desk. Don't laugh at me.

It is too early. But me and the boss are on vacation next week and we're trying to cram everything into this week and get it all done.

More on my trip to design hell which I went on yesterday when I get the chance. I know, you can't wait.

And I mean really hard. I have to write a 30-second description of my photograph (why I photographed it, what it looks like) for the visually-impaired.

I really am having a great deal of trouble trying to describe what it looks like (the why is easy).

p.s. Info for the Opening Reception on my MySpace page.

So I was watching Ghostbusters II on Comedy Central on Saturday afternoon (I didn't want to work, OK?).
Now, I'm not offended or surprised to see the new Trojan spots on this channel - what did intrigue me was the commercial right after it - or the very next commercial break, I can't remember now. Either way.

You know what the commercial was for? Kool-Aid. You know like the Kool-Aid commercials you'd (I'd) see while watching cartoons when I was little.

Well, it was the comedy channel, mabye they were trying to be funny....

I know, it's hard to imagine me shy. Right, anyways, stop laughing (I am really painfully shy). It was all we could do to get this kid to answer our questions. His dad was a friend of the boss so he actually did most of the talking.

He had just graduated from a local high school, he liked to draw but had never used a computer for anything but email and the internet (from what I could tell). He's going to Northern Arizona and has enrolled in their graphic design course/major. He showed me his sketchbook and laughed nervously... a lot.

That's all I know. I actually don't think he wanted an internship, he just wanted to know what he could do with a graphic design major.

So there you go. On another note, I don't know why my boss is always so shocked when she finds out, again, that I majored in photography and not design.

UPDATE: Wrong kid. There's another one who's coming for an interview about an internship - he is still in highschool.

For those that know me well and in person, I give you this:


toothpastefordinner.com

Okay, so the client I don't like - remember, the fast talker?

He's scared of me.

Let me write this again. He's scared... of ME.

I couldn't believe this when they told me. Yes I don't like him, BUT - I've only ever had to deal with him personally twice and I was nothing but nice.

So apparently he thinks I don't like him (I don't, but I don't think I showed it) and he's scared of me.

It's a good thing my boss thought this was hysterical.

***

Oh, if only I could get video of Samson (the half chihuahua-half beagle) trying to run on the wooden floors in circles. It's all he can do to keep his hind legs from sliding out from under him. It's hysterical.

So my sister gets every possible magazine known to man. I think it happened when we moved and she filled out this little form that the post office gave her to forward magazines.

Or when she decided to sign up to the Pottery Barn mailing list.

Anyways, she now gets Robert Redford's Sundance Catalog and I was looking through it last night.

And on the first page - a Holga for $75!! Even B&H only has them for about $40. Damn people for making this great little camera a novelty item, I got mine for $12.

I do love mine though. That said, I hope their little "book with instructions" mentions black electrical tape to keep the back from leaking light.

Oh and further into the catalog - a pack of 4 Cheerwines for $25, before shipping. Just call me, I'll get you some for like $0.89.

Just got home and opened a letter from WVTF. Seems the chair in the waterfall has been chosen as a finalist in the show.

I'm really excited, especially since after I entered I researched the juror (I know I should've done that before). Let's just say her style had me anxious that she'd like anything.

Finalists are exhibited July 2 - 31 and awards will be announced on July 20 at the Open House.

YAY! Send good vibes my way!



Addendum: This is why Doug is my favorite "GE Guy" - he goes, "just one?!"

Look what happens when poor, tenth-century folk have never seen a lion - they give us Mickey Mouse.

I dunno about you, but that smiley, happy face definitely says power and strength to me.

via The Discovery Channel

Adfreak has posted about Hillary Clinton's new "campaign song." And of course, as all three of you know, Celine Dion should never be used for endorsements ever again.

But, the intriguing part is that the video for her new campaign song parallels The Soprano's ending and Adfreak asks us to:

Consider: Someone in Clinton’s camp thought equating Hillary with a psychopathic, murderous crime boss would soften her image.

Well, um... one other thing - anybody think that spot is even odder after being reminded of this?

And as a disclaimer I'm not saying whether I believe that or not. I'm just putting it out there in reference to the "psychopathic murderous crime boss" image.

Monday when I got my car back I was a bit miffed about my door. I know I said I'm coming to terms with what it means to have a recycled door but it's still irritating. The door I received, while nice on the outside, is completely banged and scuffed up on the inside.

So while I was inside my car listening for new bumps or rattles or noises and noticing that the impact of the hit broke my radio display, I tried wiping down the car door... to no avail.

But what did I do after that?

Lock my keys in my car.

Yep.

The only good thing is I have one of the keyless things and my keys WERE NOT in the ignition.

***

So it seems I'm not overly sensitive about my door. I've gone and requested several other opinions and the verdict is in - I could definitely break my key off in the door if I'm not careful.

It sticks, horribly, and it's not aligned right. The corner of the driver's door is banging into the back door and nicking paint. Apparently the car door I received was originally red.

So this means giving my car back to the shop... which I'm dreading so I haven't called yet. And yes, I realize I need to do this ASAP.

***

I've been trying to pack my lunch, but today I have to go out and get something to eat as our mayonnaise had expired and I didn't notice till after I fixed the tuna fish. Incidentally, it didn't make me sick on Monday, but I've again asked for a vote and it seems I should be safe rather than sorry and not eat it.

***

I have no idea what to get my sister for her birthday. Either of them.

And with a ballot I don't have... I'd like to know what company is selling my work email to all these con artists.

New Premier House
6 th Floor - 150 Southhampton row
Russell Square
WC1 B5 AL LONDON
UNITED KINGDOM
+447011139397

WINNING/BALLOT NO:GSA/XX3/7450

DEAR LUCKY WINNER,

YOU ARE LUCKY TO BE LISTED AS ONE OF THE BENEFICAIRIES OF THE MICROSOFT EMAIL REWARD. YOU ARE REWARDED WITH THE SUM OF $378,000,00 AND YOUR WINNING WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOU REGARDING HOW YOU WANT TO COLLECT YOUR WINNING. YOU ARE REQUESTED TO CONTACT OUR REWARD CENTER WITH THIS EMAIL ADDRESS, (microsoftreward@mail.ru) ON WHO TO COLLECT YOUR WINNING.

PLEASE MAIL BACK WITH YOUR INFORMATION AS FOLLOWS FOR DELIVERY OF YOUR WINNING.

NAME:

AGE:

SEX:

ADDRESS:

OCCUPATION:

COUNTRY:

EMAIL ADDRESS:

PHONE NUMBER:

NOTE: BENEFICIARIES ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR TRANSFER CHARGES.PLEASE INDICATE OPTION THAT BEST SUITS YOU.DECLARATION: PAYMENT MODE.

1.BANK TO BANK TRANSFER.
2. CERTIFIED CHEQUE MADE OUT IN YOUR NAME COURIERED TO YOU VIA OUR AFFILIATE COURIER COMPANY AND WILL BE DELIVERED TO YOUR ADDRESS.

NOTE THAT YOU HAVE LIMITED TIME TO GET TO CLAIM YOUR WINNING AS ALL UNCLAIMED WINNING WILL BE REVERTED FOR NEXT MONTHS BONAZA ON THE 15TH OF JULY 2007.PLEASE IN ORDER TO SECURE YOUR WINNING KEEP THE WINNING BALLOT NUMBER SECRET.


Disclaimer note on content of this message including enclosure(s) and attachments(s): The contents of this e-mail are the privileged and confidential material of VSNL.. The information is solely intended for the individual/entity it is addressed to. If you are not the intended recipient of this message,please be aware that you are not authorized in any which way whatsoever to read, forward, print,retain, copy or disseminate this message or any part of it. We apologize if you have received this e-mail in error and would request you to please notify the sender immediately by return e-mail and delete it from your computer. The views expressed in this e-mail message are those of the individual sender,except where the sender expressly, and with authority, states them to be the views of VSNL. This e-mail message including attachment(s), if any, is believed to be free of any virus and VSNL is not responsible for any loss or damage arising in any way from its use. Information contained and transmitted by this email is confidential
and proprietary to microsoft.

Someone needs to make me stop volunteering to do things.

Really.

I don't think anyone would be fooled by this, especially with the URL at the end.

A new YouTube video is promoting a movie called "The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep." I'm not sure this movie interests me, and I love that sort of stuff. I've also never heard Nessie called a water horse... but maybe I dosed off during a program.

Anyway watch the video - found via Cryptomundo and one clever commenter notes that "at the end of the breaching action, the tail of the well known organism that the pleisasaur was edited onto… [is] an Orca. If this were done better, we would never have seen the tail."

But what better way to promote a movie then by faking some new footage? If they'd really wanted to make people send this video to all their friends and go to the website - they shouldn't have gone so over the top.

While I laughed at this... and I admit I'm weird. I don't know if this is effective to the target audience. An article on Slate states this is the best anti-drug ad - EVER. The commenters, however, disagree.

I am coming to terms with the term "recycled door."

I'm also coming to terms with the wreck breaking things that probably will not be fixed but bug me because my car was extremely well taken care of.

There's also a new sound from the engine that I'm ignoring. Hopefully if I ignore it, it will go away.

But I'm not driving the Monte Carlo - and that makes me very happy.

I found this today. Apparently Google has a homepage much like Yahoo and MSN for their Gmail users. Well, I knew that - but I didn't know they added themes.

The sun moves throughout the day in accordance to where I live. (That's where the sun is at 2:00, I also get sunrises and sunsets). Trust me, that was the best one.

Having a week-long vacation in two weeks makes one useless.

In other news, I received a message on my home phone (which I never check) on Friday from Enterprise informing me that Rockingham Group had called them and told them that Friday would be the last day they would pay for the rental car. I needed to return the car by midnight.

Oh hell no.

Of course by the time I get home Rockingham Group is closed as is my State Farm agent's office and the body shop. I called Rockingham Mutual and got some generic claims office, again, and left a message. I then called Enterprise and they told me not to worry about it since my car wasn't done.

So, I called the body shop this morning, they forgot to check the alignment and so my car should be done this afternoon. I called State Farm and my agent assured me that they would extend the rental car since my car isn't ready until this afternoon, but if I had a problem to let her know.

I then called Rockingham Group, got the voice mail of the woman I want to talk to and haven't heard a thing back since. I think this is the worst insurance company I've ever had to deal with, and I don't like dealing with the State Farm claims people. These people are worse. I can't wait for this to be over with.

Update: I FINALLY talked to her and the rental has been extended. Now I'm able to breathe normally again.

Alright, I'm off to submit everything. Doug likes the doll the best.

Cross you fingers... and keep them crossed until the 22nd (because that's when I find out if I've been chosen for exhibition).

OK, I went home and looked through all my prints and got input from the family. Everyone's given me money so that I can enter 3 photographs because no one could choose.

I entered these:
Untitled #1 (Tea-stained Silver Gelatin Print, 5x7)


Untitled #2 (Silver Gelatin Print, 8x10)


Untitled #3 (Silver Gelatin Print, 11x14)

I can sell them if I want to - but I can't decide if I want to. But I've got to decide quick as I have to drop them off on my lunch break. I don't want to sell #3. But if I did, I was thinking $50, $100, $150?



p.s. And I couldn't find the acceptable print of the self-portrait.

I've decided to submit work to a local juried art show - it raises money for public radio.

I'm trying to decide what to submit, I'll have to go home and look through things.

I might be getting an intern.

Well, not just me, the agency... but I'd be in charge of him.

We're probably interviewing him next weekish. I've never been in charge of an intern... this could be fun. ;)

Any tips? Suggestions of questions to ask him?


p.s. Not only is my ear drum vibrating but I'm having trouble focusing - literally (my eyes are fuzzy) and figuratively (I'm rechecking blogs instead of working on those logos). I need to get to work.

EW.

I can't even imagine this would be good. Those crazy Japanese.

If it was available in America Fred could've had it with the 22oz Pink Pony steak and made a meal of nastiness.

Found via The Consumerist, there are also YouTube videos there of a taste test - a description like "Satan in my mouth" can't be good.

Also in other news, and you'll find out if you read about the steak, Fred is ending Freelancefred (*tear*), so go read his archives before he takes it down... you have time, go.

Oh, and my ear drum is vibrating. This can't be good.

Update: I've read some of the comments and some places they sell cucumber water and they say it is refreshing. That I could buy, but I can't believe this is refreshing after all the chemicals they put into it. I like Diet Coke and real lemon, but I didn't like the Diet Coke and Lemon drink because the lemon tasted chemically (if that's a word).

Stop. It. Now.

I admit it - I've used the phrase "rock star parking" when I get an parking space RIGHT by an establishment's door.

BUT THAT IS THE ONLY TIME I USE IT. And I do so in the privacy of my car to very close friends.

Now everyone's using it, including advertisments. But I'll let someone else tackle that one.

Today I'm going over something that is just as bad, or worse, in my opinion. Something that has been brewing in my annoyances pot for a while now. The rock star hand sign.

Unless you have long, greasy hair and are wearing a Pantera shirt or are actually on stage rocking (and even then you might look dumb), STOP IT.

And stop using it in your MySpace profile photos. I'm talking to you... the girl in 4-inch heels, trendy clothing and the pompadour. Oh and the tongue - stick that thing back in your mouth, you look like an idiot.

All this tells me is that you definitely DO NOT rock and that you are trying too hard. I'm telling you this for your own good, no one thinks you're cool but you and your drunk friend beside you.

I'm serious, stop.

Seems the gubernatorial panel researching the VT shooting are running into extremely frustrating road blocks with Cho's mental health records:

Panel member Tom Ridge asked Stewart [the Inspector General and consulting psychiatrist] whether any record is available to prove whether Cho got court-ordered treatment. When Stewart said he couldn't comment, Ridge clenched his jaw and said, "Fascinating."

So after reading this, along with everything else I read in the news, I saw what a friend of mine had posted as a bulletin on MySpace, don't know if he wrote it or if he got it somewhere else but I thought I'd share....

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; life isn't always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies such as don't spend more than you can earn and adults, not children, are in charge.

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his Wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

Yes, that's what I said, Tiny Ninja Theater. And Shakespeare no less.

"Romeo & Juliet" (poster pictured) and "Macbeth" will be performed using little figurines at the Kennedy Space Center in DC.

Not only will they be projecting the play on video screens for the audience BUT (yes, that's right) we can watch in ONLINE.

Tonight at 6pm is "Macbeth" for our viewing pleasure. And "Romeo & Juliet" is the 13th and 14th.

I made your Tuesday, didn't I?

Tiny Ninja Theater

I think this might be one of the coolest ideas ever.

Update: I'm watching "Macbeth," this guy is rather awesome - the weird sisters are hysterical (they're an alien figurine).

I don't know if anyone has seen this - I saw it watching The Discovery Channel the other day (I think). But I laughed so hard I could hardly breathe. I love the actress and her hand gestures.

I left my keys in someone else's car Sunday night and therefore did not have them Monday morning. This is what happens when something breaks my routine - it's not that I can't walk and chew gum at the same time - but since my brain is going in 40 directions at once my routine becomes really important.

At least I didn't lock them in the rental car (which I still have - I can't wait to get my car back).

So I left them in a friend of my mother's car and had to get her up to get the number and get my keys, so I was running late yesterday and despite the day being fine, I felt behind.

Better this morning but the rental car is telling me that I need to check the left rear tire's pressure. ???????????

I JUST WANT TO TALK TO A PERSON.


Well... it appears that hitting "0" eight times will accomplish that.

Update: WOW. She was pleasant. [/sarcasm] I TRIED to be nice. I asked her how she was and everything. I realize working for the IRS customer service line is rough (I used to work at a bank) but for goodness sakes... you could at least try to be nice.

So some (okay, most) of my photographs with my new (refurbished) digital camera have come out fuzzy. And at first I thought it was the camera. And it was making me upset.

And before I tell you this, I'm going to say that if this had been a good old fashioned film camera I WOULD HAVE SEEN THIS. Yes, I would have.

There was a thumb print on my lens... which took up the entire lens. I'm not sure how it got there because I haven't touched it, but it was there.

When I look through the view finder on my manual cameras I can see exactly what my lens sees - fingerprints, scratches, dust, and everything and I can do something about it. And I think to look because there's a good size area to have that sort of thing happen. This thing is like a half an inch, how'd a fingerprint even get on it?

So yeah, hopefully my shots will be über sharp now. Well, as sharp as they can be.

Man in wheelchair takes ride on semi's grill

By MARC THOMPSON

PAW PAW -- The Michigan State Police Paw Paw Post and Van Buren County Central Dispatch began receiving strange reports of a man in a wheelchair being pushed by a semi truck on Wednesday afternoon.

As the truck was leaving a gas station, the 21-year-old man wheeled his chair in front the vehicle and the wheelchair became lodged by its handles in the front grill of the truck. The unwitting truck driver then proceeded to travel west on Red Arrow Highway at speeds of approximately 50 mph.

Police initially thought the report might have been a prank until they started receiving more reports of the situation.

The truck traveled for an estimated four miles unknowingly pushing the man in the wheelchair. The driver then pulled into the Ralph Moyle Trucking Company with wheelchair and occupant still attached. When troopers arrived, they discovered the man was unharmed and unfazed by the incident.

Police approached the driver and advised him of the man in the wheelchair. The driver did not believe them until he stepped out of the truck and saw the man still sitting in the chair.

The young man said it was quite a ride.

One trooper on the scene said it would be possible to work another 90 years in law enforcement and never see an incident such as this one.

Everybody said they are just glad no one was injured.

via Wood TV8 from Grand Rapids

I'm a little late on this as I don't watch MTV anymore (music TV my @$$). Last night as I was flipping channels I managed to catch the first part of the MTV movie awards.

Now, I may be the only person in the world that doesn't find Sarah Silverman particularly funny - BUT - what I did find hilarious (I am so mean) was Paris Hilton's face during her opening monologue. I laughed so hard I almost woke up my sister.

So the lead story for today is that Norris Hall will begin to reopen as offices and laboratories, but no classes.

Now keep in mind - the VT tragedy is not on the front page of the paper everyday. It was for about a week and a half after the shootings, but unless it's some major new development it'll get a side column or be put in the Virginia section.

Now, I'm in our production area mocking up some collateral to send to a client when one of my bosses walks in, looks at the paper - and in the most exasperated voice you can imagine, throws her hands up, and goes "enough with the Virginia Tech stuff already!"

I felt that it was in my best interest to keep my mouth shut because telling her what I was thinking was probably not a good idea. I don't know what she looked at next, but not a minute later she says, "I thought Angelina and Brad weren't together anymore?"

Yeah.

You can't see this because she was driving like a bat out of hell... and well, I was driving as well. I know, not safe.

It says: Bad at Driving, Good at Selling Homes... then her name, photograph and phone number.

She cut me off and that's when I saw the back of her car.

You know what I like? Going into a file that I need and seeing that my boss has rearranged my entire design.

[/sarcasm]

It's not that she can't - but she could at least tell me about it.

Besides, if I'd typeset the kerning with that much space she would've hated it, but since she did it... it's okay.

What's even more annoying is it's for the client that I hate that doesn't want me to "reinvent the wheel." So I didn't. And now since the client has explained that he had to have the website redesigned because it was a package deal everyone loves him again.

I know hate is a strong word... but I hide from the guy when I see him in the grocery store.

Well... I don't think I've found a blog that likes this little thing. Well, I did find one that said it could grow on her. And I don't think I have to even say my opinion.

I had to be told what it was - I never saw the 2012. And I definitely don't have the dirty mind I thought I did as I never saw, well, the other thing.

I asked my sister when I came home from work what she saw - she goes "2012."

As my mouth dropped she goes, "I'm an accountant... I see numbers everywhere."

Fair enough. But now, thanks to the dirty minds on the internet, I will never see the numbers anyways.

Update: I asked my Mom what she thought it was... she said a puzzle and then I had to point out the 2012. She asked who designed it and I said a agency in London. She looked at me and winked and goes "were they on crack?"

I love my Mom.

Should we be worried that one of the "favorite fetches" on DogPile is for DUI Attorneys?

Click for bigger image.

I just heard this on the radio coming back from lunch - the thought process consisted of:

1) What the hell is this?
2) Oh, I guess some skinny white boys have done their version of "Baby Got Back"
3) Wait, it's for Hardees? That's dumb.

Now I've an association of someone's flat ass and the burger they want me to eat. I don't think you want that association, but that's just me...

I see this is also on Adrants.

I traded in the rental car - for one that doesn't smell like G-d only knows what. Enterprise was actually very nice when I took it back.

Now... well, I've got a Chevy Monte Carlo. Doug made fun of me and told me all the Nascar guys would like me now.

I told him he wasn't funny. I don't care as long as it doesn't smell, although... those doors are HEAVY. It hurts when they slam on you.

I have 5 huge phone books sitting on my counter waiting to be recycled. I only need one, but I've gotten 6 in the mail recently.

I don't even use the phone book, I look numbers up online.

So what to do when you want people to keep your book? The guys at Roanoke Verizon Yellow Pages give out free gas.

Who thinks being told to completely rethink the logo and give 5 new options on Tuesday and being told to rethink the logo using certain elements of the previous almost-approved logo (which had been revised 6 times) is the same thing?

Yeah, see I thought so too. (I wanted to print this off and highlight #1 for her)

I know why this job frustrates me so much... because my hard work and brainstorming for hours gets me the same place as if I throw something on her desk.

I did it right with the last website. I threw some half-assed stuff on her desk - she got to give me her opinion. I then took some time, came up with something cool using one or two of her suggestions, and she loved it with absolutely no changes.

I forgot to do that with the logos because I was trying to impress and it back-fired on me. I hate playing games, it's possibly why I also suck at dating, but that's a whole 'nother can of something.

Of course, it bugs me that I KNOW this and didn't do it. Perhaps that copywriter was right....