You can read about giant geese if you really want to.
It's not a panda... but it's still cute.
I used to love riddles. In fact, I had this very old book of my mothers and I took it upon myself in about the 3rd grade to memorize all of them... and then probably proceeded to annoy the hell out of everyone I knew.
Like this one:
What comes once in a minute, twice in a moment, but never in a thousand years?
Answer: The letter M
or
What did the old woman say when she opened her refrigerator and saw that it was bare?
Answer: O I C U R M T
Yeah, I thought I was funny. And either my mother received unmeasurable amounts of joy at seeing my pleasure when I could tell her the answer or she was worn to a frazzle after a day of me and my sister and my stupid jokes and couldn't remember the answer.
So I'm a fan of the new Lexus commercial for their hybrids... even though it annoys me to no end that they decided to give the answer away.
Just kidding. Article here. I can't get to the article on www.badastronomy.com, site won't load.
Gives me nightmares. At least it did Monday morning. I tend to have the most vivid dreams if I wake up early and then go back to sleep. Unfortunately for me, Monday that meant a nightmare.
My nightmares have 3 general themes:
- I'm walking/standing on some extremely high precipice or something - either a bridge or a mountain or a ledge and I'm desperately trying not to fall off.
- I'm attempting not to drown in water.
- Michael Myers
Monday would have been the third theme. I hate these. I can sometimes figure out the symbolism in the first two. This third I got nothing. Sometimes I catch a few minutes of a movie on TV, sometimes I don't. Monday I saw nothing.
It started out innocuous enough, I was taking photographs of a 30-40 year old crime scene. Well, I guess that was kind of ominous. I'm not sure why I was taking photos, but there I was. Several of my coworkers were there, which led me to believe that the crime scene was in one of our offices in another city (Richmond specifically but I've never been there or seen it). Well, the other give away was the fact that they were asking me what I was doing and I told them I was taking pictures for our boss.
The crime scene was at the end of a very long hallway and I was taking photos at the other end from the actual scene. And there was yellow carpet. Horrible yellow carpet. And ugly white walls.
At this point, a acquaintance/friend of mine was standing behind me. Apparently not totally weird in my dream state as he lives in Richmond. I believe it is now at his suggestion that we stay the night and see if the killer comes back or we stay so I can take pictures of ghosts or something. I'm a little fuzzy about this. I'm also a little fuzzy as to why I said yes as that would be insane behavior on my part.
Jump to that night. We're hiding in a tiny, tiny hallway where we can see the crime scene. Oddly enough - no camera. You can reference the diagram I drew. Yeah, I drew one. Don't judge, I did it rather quickly when I couldn't make what it looked like make sense in words.
So there we are, hiding. And then all of a sudden - there he is. Yep, it would be Michael Myers. Apparently, this is his crime scene. So he's standing there looking down at the carpet and then he slowly turns his head and looks at us. Cue the horribly creepy music.
We make a snap decision to jump up on to the partition, since it doesn't go all the way to the ceiling and run for it. He lifts me up, I run to the other side, slumped of course since the ceiling's like 3 feet above where I jumped. When I get to the other side, I jump down land on some grass (???), manage to hurt my leg and all of a sudden I'm now in the neighborhood I grew up in, which is not in Richmond.
I'm not sure what happened to my friend. He's no longer in the dream. More than likely he sacrificed himself to give me more time to get away. I'm not sure he'd do that in real life. Either way, it made me sad. But it made me sad when I woke up because, remember, I still have a deranged lunatic after me.
I am now inside my house waiting to see if he also teleported and followed me. My sister is in her room asleep... and I decided at some point to run outside the house to save her if he's followed me. I look out the window and yep, he's there.
Holy sh*t. I run for my life out the back door, to the front yard, across the street all the time looking behind me to see that looming figure that manages to keep up with me no matter how fast I run. I then run into the backyard of my neighbors and see all of them in their kitchen. I, of course, run to the back door and scream for them to open it. When he does I beg him to let me in and call the police.
This is when my alarm goes off and I realize I just killed my neighbor's entire family. That is, I guess, if I'd stayed asleep. And of course, I killed my friend.
Freaked me the hell out. I was terrified to look out the window for fear that he'd be standing there.
I have MLK Day off. I'm going to enjoy it.
Oh, and also lay on an ice-pack and watch The Discovery Channel because I fell down my steps this morning and attempted to run yesterday.
The video I first saw here. And all I got is a "WTF?"
Best advice regarding the video from The Joe:
Don't let the aliens get you too! Smack a scientologist today!
And he pointed me to Scientology Lies... just in case, I assume.
I don't know how old this video is. Maybe it's not very old. Either way, it is extremely amusing to college-aged girls.
Either way, this kid is PRICELESS.
I wondered if this would still be funny now that I have gotten some sleep... and yeah, it's still amusing to me.
This is the blood pressure cuff from the ER last two Saturdays ago.
Take a look at the graphics. The guy in the box is a normal adult. Then there's a bigger guy, then, I presume, a giant... with a deformed right arm. So giants with deformed right arms have to have the blood pressure cuff on their leg.
My mother said that was for men with large biceps. I don't think she thought it was funny as I did.
10AM Tides Me Over 'Til I Can Get Out to My Anarchist Compound
Boss: What's your password? I want to sign in and test the new system we set up.
Office gal: 'Detonate.'
Boss: [Silence.]
Office gal: What? I like typing 'Detonate' and hitting 'Enter'! It's extremely satisfying!
60 East 42nd Street
New York, New York
via Overheard in the Office, Jan 7, 2008
toothpastefordinner.com
It goes with the coat...
The original post is tagged for removal (see):
HAUNTED TV - Toshiba TW40 40
HDTV television I am selling my 5 year old Toshiba HDTV because I am a college student who is unable to transport it to another school. It is rather large because its a projection and weighs about 100 pounds. It works fine, has a nice glossy screen and is in good condition.
There is one caveat that I must bring to the buyer's attention: This TV is almost certainly haunted by the spirit of a 1970's-era baptist pastor named Klent Kloom. He is harmless, but the buyer should be comfortable with cries of "HALLELUJIA"" (sic) at unearthly hours of night. I am unfamiliar with exorcism and cannot find a good reference on the internet. ...
But the best part the experts that the author of the article found to help with the haunted TV in the event that he couldn't sell it. He used Profnet, an online service that "connects reporters easily and quickly with expert sources at no charge."
Expert #1 Dali Wiederhoft, vice president of Estipona Group Advertising in Reno:
"Try wearing an aluminum foil beanie while watching the TV. It won't do much for the shouting minister, but it'll keep his head warm and it helps with reception."
Expert #2 self-described Baptist-in-recovery Neil Gussman of Philadelphia's Chemical Heritage Foundation:
"It is quite impossible to exorcise a Baptist preacher from a hallelujah-friendly venue. To get Kloom out of the TV, the new owner only has to play three consecutive French-language films and Kloom will find a stadium sound system to in-dwell."
Last and possibly best—expert #3 Brian Olson of Video Professor, Inc., a Colorado-based self-paced computer software tutorial company, i.e. a tech guy:
"Those old Toshibas are pretty big," he wrote. "Maybe a preacher is really inside the darn thing. He needs to open the back and check. If it is indeed haunted by a Baptist preacher, I'd donate it to a Baptist Church and take the tax deduction."
Article here.
Best part - the frog needed "grounding."
"Ten people subsequently won the lottery which drew crowds to the house - and then they started losing. So I have had to ground her. I promised one day to take her to the seaside, and her dream has come true."
Read the rest.
I know, I know. I've got a million things to post. Well, not really - but you all know me. I do have a back-up, it's just been a busy week.
Thank you to everyone for your sweet and supportive comments and emails. You guys are awesome. :D
He's doing much better now - he'll be in a rehab center for the next 2 weeks and then he should be able to go home. My week also got a lot better and I'm going to try to catch up on my sleep. But now, off to the nursing home!
VENIAMIN'S HUMAN SLINKY
Sent to me by iSkew
Facebook Ads Make You the Star -- And You May Not Know It
But are Facebook users aware of the results of their so-called social actions? "When you become a fan of Blockbuster, nothing tells the [Facebook member] what that means," says Jeremiah Owyang, senior analyst at Forrester Research. Indeed, when you add Blockbuster's Movie Clique application, there is no notification that you are allowing Blockbuster to use your name and profile picture in a display ad. Owyang suggests that Facebook ought to inform users up front and make it very clear what "becoming a fan" entails, or change the system to an opt-in model. Currently, there is not even any way to opt-out of participation in Social Ads, other than by avoiding associating yourself with any corporate brands on Facebook.
Whole article here.
I dreamt I got punched in the nose last night. This girl punched me hard enough that it broke it. When I woke up it still hurt and I had to double-check whether or not my nose was actually broken.
I was also taking dance from Anjelica Huston. Possibly ballet. But then I couldn't get down the stairs from her third floor studio because they were too steep.
There's a good 4 other scenes in this dream but I can't remember them.
Yes, yes... I'm a day late. :p
I hope everyone had a relaxing day yesterday. I'm always a little sad when the holiday season ends. Oh well, back to reality.
I'm still recuperating a bit from New Year's Eve. Wasn't doing *exactly* what I wanted, but I made the most of it. And I suppose it's really about being with good friends and that's really what I was doing. Although, I'm a little worried to see the collection of pictures from the other night.
Anyways, enjoy. :)
[Image from The Chalkboard Manifesto]
