This was in today's CornerShot. CornerShot is a little blurb on the front page of the Extra section in the lower right-hand corner.
Today's was by a local reporter. Although he seems upset about the repealment of our car tax (which I am not upset about), I think his solution is funny - although prison time for shouting would actually use up the taxes the fines were paying.
Corner Shot
Because we're not allowed to have a car tax anymore, I'd like to present a modest proposal for paying for our roads and bridges: the Car Commercial Tax.
Car dealerships will pay a tax for each commercial each time it airs. The tax will be calculated using the following table:
Speed-reading of fine print: $10,000
Phone excitement over minor holidays, such as Columbus Day: $10,000
Explosions, laser blasts and super-novas: $25,000
Sudden zooming or tilting of camera: $10,000
Appearance by the dealership owner: $100,000
Blaring, but unrecognizable music: $10,000 per second
Use of the terms "pre-owned," "incentive" or "sale-a-bration": $75,000 each.
Shouting: $500,000 plus a minimum 12-month prison sentence.
--Tom Angleberger
Labels: car commercials, cornershot, local paper
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Excellent suggestions. I'd go much higher on sale-a-bration. A client actually rewrote one of my headlines to that once. (shudder)
Yeah, sale-a-bration should be up there with shouting. :)